The Person I Was
by SweetzJunkie
Summary: "Remember." I don't remember. Why? "Sometimes your heart is simply wrong." They remember me. I don't. Who was I? I loved them so much. Was Wonderland always this sad? I don't know. I want to remember. These people...that I loved. OCx? Rating may change.
1. Prologue: Nonexistant Wonderland

A/N: Hi everyone! xD Ah, I just started getting obsessed with Heart no Kuni no Alice again(I wanna play the game, like the Joker and Clover ones, but it seems a bit...er...can't describe xD)! I wanted to do a story for it, because I believe there are too less in here! This is my first Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice story, and I hope I can get a few reviews of good criticism for this. Sorry if the summary is confusing, I'll change it if necessary. ;D Also, as the genre is Romance/Adventure, there is going to be slight Tragedy and maybe Hurt/Comfort. Pairing is chosen later, I guess. Alice won't be in here, but she will be mentioned, since she was the original main character, and I think she's pretty interesting, though there are a few stories that kind of bash her(bad, bad people =_=). This is the prologue, and if all goes well, I might add more to this(probably not)or update really quick! Okay, with that said, I hope you all like it!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**Enjoy!~**_

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><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Prologue**

_I was right there_

_In that garden behind home_

_I fell down that hole_

_The hole he pushed me into by accident_

_He fell with me_

_We fell down that rabbit hole, just like Alice, in Wonderland_

_We landed at the bottom_

_We were whisked away by a white rabbit_

_But he left me with that rabbit_

_I tried to keep him with me, but he left_

_He left without saying goodbye_

_And so my life in Wonderland began_

_It was so much fun, yet something was off_

_Something was missing_

_Perhaps it was him?_

_That I had almost forgotten and missed_

_This was the Wonderland I was hoping for_

_But how could I ever get back? _

_Back to that family I had, back to him?_

_And then the game had ended_

_It ended so very soon_

_I wasn't a player anymore_

_And with that, I was thrown out of Wonderland_

_Back to the garden behind home_

_With no memories to keep but the image of him leaving me behind_

_Just like in Wonderland_

_But where was Wonderland?_

_Oh, I guess it was a dream_

_Who knew a dream could be so terrible?_

_But was that really a dream?_

_I wish I could go back_

_To where?_

_To where?_

_Where did I want to go back to, so desperately?_

_Nowhere_

_Wonderland does not exist_

_But I wish I could go back_

_To where, oh where?_

_To that Wonderland that I believed _

_Had never existed_

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><p>End AN: Eh, this whole thing seems like a poem, but it's actually going to be a full story, if that's not too bad. This is just the prologue, so I hope you all will continue to read it. Also, the person in first POV is going to be the main character(I hope that doesn't bother any of you x_x), and the person she's referring to as 'he' is...someone...oh, you'll find out in chapter one! Sorry for the evilness! xD Anyway, thank you for reading up to this point, and I hope you can leave a review to tell me how it is(then I'll continue it). Thanks again, and happy reading!


	2. Chapter 1: The Inevitable

A/N: Hello again, and welcome to my _Wonderful Wonderland _story(not the title, I'm trying to be corny~)! Thank you to those who reviewed, I really appreciate it! ;D Eh, I feel this chapter was just a _bit _rushed, but I guess it's okay as long as everyone reading it likes it! This is in Regina's point of view(POV), and I might be changing POVs later in the story. I'll try to update faster now, and hopefully I'll finish chapter in one or two days! :) You finally get to find out more about Regina and her dearest person, Ethan. Also, I apologize if Peter's OOC. I wanted him to talk right away, just like he did with Alice, since I've read a lot of stories where Peter just watches the main OC or what not. I hope Regina isn't mary-sue much, since I know many people(like myself)can't stand them. Okay, with that, I hope you all like it!(Didn't I say this the other time?...Oh well xD)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).  
><strong>

**~Enjoy!~**

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><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Chapter One: The Inevitable**

The rusty copper key fit perfectly in the hole, and I twisted until a _click _sounded the opening of the book. "I finally found the right key! Curse those drawers for delaying me…" I chuckled to myself, feeling the scratch in my throat. I coughed lightly, and then resumed opening _Alice in Wonderland_ and giggled at the cute first page. How long has it been since I've laughed like this? Five years? Even more? My laughter ceased, my dry lips going back to their former line. "It's already been that long, huh…" I flipped absentmindedly through the worn pages, my thoughts mingling with the scanned story.

The hole Alice fell in looks so familiar, it's almost agonizing. "Ethan…" I murmured, remembering the shocked face of my twin brother when I climbed out of the one in our backyard. He scolded me for sleeping in it, and we ended up laughing together about the crazy dream I had about him and me. The humor in the memory was clouded though, and I felt the dreadful feeling of sadness splash onto me like a dumped bucket of cold water. Was it that long ago that he, the person I cherished more than my own life, died protecting me? I brushed my fingertips over the colorful pictures in the book, staring at the white rabbit he adored so much. I smiled wryly and sighed. He wouldn't be happy if I was sad, so smiling was all I could do; but even smiling started becoming an old act. I've been in this hospital for so long, my emotions are starting to whittle away to nothing. But atleast I have the strength to complain, huh...

"Why are we even paying for her hospital bill? We should just leave her at some orphanage." My mother's muffled voice filled my ears and I sat up abruptly in my white bed, pushing the book onto my covered lap. Mother and father were here? This was twice in a week, they don't usually do that; why would they even visit me more? They were just arguing again and right outside my door like I wasn't there, with mother complaining about me and father trying to ease her annoyance. How about mine? "I'm fed up with wasting precious cash on a girl who will never be healed!"

"Dear, we can't do that. The orphanage won't let us leave a seventeen-year-old there, and I don't think they'd buy any story either. Besides, we aren't dead yet, and she could prove to be useful in the future," father countered, and even though it sounded as if he wanted me to stay with them, I knew that wasn't it.

"A _crippled _girl would be useful? How so? She can't walk anymore, much less help out."

"Producing an heir is always an option; we could just arrange a marriage with another wealthy company owner. I'm sure her reproductive system is functioning well."

I shivered involuntarily at his tone, eavesdropping further on their conversation. All they thought about was of the _company's _future, and of the money that would come rolling in if I married one of those snobby people. Silence ensued, but I knew mother was considering father's offer. How could they do this to me, to their own daughter? No, they didn't care about that. I wasn't their daughter; how could I be, after what happened? I literally couldn't run away, and I had no options either. I pulled my hands to my face, and felt the wetness of numb tears. Why couldn't I even notice that?

I heard mother sigh heavily, and I turned my attention back to their conversation. "Why did it have to be Ethan? Why couldn't Regina have been the one who died?" Ethan, it's always Ethan… I shook my head, cursing myself for that. I loved my brother so much…

I considerably stiffened, staring wide-eyed at the sliding door. My eyes became downcast almost immediately after that, and I stared at my limp hands that retracted from my face. "Why wasn't I the one who died, I wonder…?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. They wouldn't hear me, anyway.

"Shh! She can probably hear you!"

"She's _probably _asleep, why thank you! You worry too much."

I closed my eyes for a long moment before reopening them, tracing a light finger over the pure white bed sheets, over the concealed legs that wouldn't move no matter how hard I tried.

_ "Bro-bro, where are you going?" A high-pitched, yet drowsy voice asked._

_ The figure leaving turned and came back over to the voice's source, a sad smile displayed. "Nowhere in particular, Reggie. Go back to sleep, and I'll be back by the time you wake up, okay?" Doubt laced the speaking person's words, but the other person listening didn't seem to notice. By the time the figure left the room, tears unknown were streaming down, and the oblivious person back in the room was already dreaming of an unbelievable world. _

I cringed, placing my hands on either side of my throbbing head. What was this feeling? What were these…these familiar images? Suddenly, the sound of the door sliding open reached my ears, and I quickly sat up normally and withdrew my sweaty hands. "Oh, hello, Regina-darling! Did you wake up just now?" mother's sugary, fake voice called to me, and I immediately put on my smiling mask. The ends of my mouth hurt; was I out of practice already? She looked nervous, obviously worried that I'd heard their conversation from outside.

"Yes, and it was a very good nap! Ah, it's so nice to see you both," I replied, nodding happily to both of them approaching me, feeling the twinges at my heart with every bob. I mentally slapped myself, and proceeded to scolding from within my mind. I was going to make it through this visit without faltering, no matter what. She looked relieved, the result I wanted. The throbbing in my head was still there, but I ignored it. However much I wanted this confinement to end, it wouldn't end.

I've really been cornered, haven't I?

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><p>"Regina, I'll leave you here for now. Promise me you won't wander into the forest again, okay? The last time you did, I found you injured!" Miss Erika, the nurse looking after me for about a year said, and after I nodded she left rather hurriedly. Probably doing a job for one of the doctors.<p>

I turned my wheelchair easily on the overly green grass, gazing out at the shimmering lake as the sun began setting. I've seen this scenery so many times, it would bore a playful child to death, but I was far from that. I found this place comforting after numerous visits from my uncaring parents, and it was like a soothing medicine no herbalist or doctor could conjure up for the sadness my unmoving legs emanated. I bent over, and scooped some clear water into my single hand, only to have it slip through my slender fingers. Just like my life, and my dreams of being free…

"Don't think like that!" I slapped the sides of my face, feeling the quick sting that disappeared fast. My hands remained there, a small space between them and my face as I just stared longingly at lake. "Don't think like that…" My vision became blurred, and I noticed the tears daring to spill over. I didn't blink, and lowered my arms onto the arm rests of my wheel chair. The wind was blowing through my dark brown locks as if trying to offer some sort of comfort, and I smiled sadly subconsciously. Even nature pitied me with its gentleness.

I suddenly burst out laughing, my voice cracking with every word. "The wind pities me! It's just like something Ethan would make up just to make me smile and laugh. Ah…" The tears escaped, falling slowly like a late spring drizzle, wetting my white hospital dress. "I've been crying too much lately…too much today..." I brought my wrist up to wipe the tears away, but they kept coming. I haven't cried in so long, it pains me even more than the other times.

I must have been crying for some time, because I fell into a deep sleep long after the sun had set behind the endless horizon.

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><p><em>"It's only a game."<em>

"Eep!" A soft _thud _sounded to my right, and I woke with a start, glancing down in alert to see a clash of white and red through my hazy sky blue eyes. I rubbed it out with my palm, and could finally make out the shape of whatever fell.

"A rabbit?" I managed out, staring dumbfounded at the creature. "Rabbits don't 'Eep'…and it's wearing a red-checkered coat…what?"

The rabbit pulled itself up, and started brushing furiously at its coat in an attempt to rid of the grass and dust. It didn't work. My body shot back when it finally noticed my presence, and it _gasped_. Do rabbits do that? I must've slept too long, it was already night too. The stars were twinkling, and the moon gave enough light to see.

"Um, hello there. What's your name?" I asked, and out of instinct, I slapped myself on the cheek lightly. The rabbit gave me a curious look, but I didn't pay too much mind to it. It looked so much like the one in _Alice in Wonderland_... "What a stupid question to ask…it can't talk ba—"

"Ooh, you must be Regina! Nightmare was right, you would be here!" it responded, and my mouth was hung open; I wouldn't be surprised if a bug flew in! It actually spoke! Maybe I was hallucinating… I rubbed my eyes again, and blinked a couple of times. It was still there. All of a sudden, though, it lunged at me, and I was completely taken aback. I almost fell out of my wheelchair had it not been the heaviness of it.

I squeaked as it hugged my stomach, and felt warmth rush in. "W-what?"

"Hm, you're really skinny. Did they feed you well here? Well, anyway, we have to go soon! Are you ready?"

I didn't know how to react to that question, and just stared into the rabbit's bloody red eyes. What a pretty color… What exactly was it talking about, though? "Uh…"

"Oh, we have to go now!"

"What do you mean? Go where? And how are you talking?" I finally found my normal voice, and bombarded the strange rabbit with questions. It jumped off my lap, landing on the soft grass as I stared at my white dress. It was all dirty now…

"We'll have time for that later! Now…" As soon as I finished inspecting my dress, a small _pop _sound reached my ears, and I felt myself being lifted from my wheelchair.

"H-hey, what are you doing? Put me down! My dress will flip!" I protested, and then I wondered who was carrying me. I looked down, and I gasped when I saw there was no rabbit anymore but a white-haired man with fluffy rabbit ears and the same intricate, red-checkered coat accompanied by stunning red eyes. The rabbit's eyes. Just who was this guy?

"Aha, here we go!" He sprinted off with me in his arms, and I cried out in surprise when we arrived at a huge, deep looking hole in one of the hospital's many clearings.

"What's with this hole? I've never seen it before! And please, put me down! I need my wheelchair," I started squirming and protesting again, but the rabbit man ignored it and laughed happily, a handsome smile on his face. Handsome?

"Alice did the same things as you when I first met her! Now now, I'll let you down as soon as we arrive," he said, and with that he jumped into the hole, and my screaming became muffled by the rush of wind.

Why was this so familiar?

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><p>End AN: Woot! It's done...o_o Ah, that Peter...xD Who doesn't love him? Again, thank you to those who review, and to those who haven't, I hope you do. If you can, R&R, and for now, I bid you ado~

Happy reading!


	3. Chapter 2: Here

A/N: Hello again, everyone, and welcome back to another chapter of my story! I'll be updating sooner now, so be prepared! xD Anyway, I apologize if any canon characters are OOC in here, or if Regina acts out of order or just plain mary-sue. Well, this time, the author's note is going to be short, since I typed A LOT of words(in my opinion and my dear proofreader's opinion). A warm thanks and dedication for this chapter to _OneMerit, _who gave me great ideas and, of course, re-read it and corrected my mistakes. Thanks to all those who reviewed, you've given me such inspiration to continue! I hope you'll all look forward to the upcoming chapters, and continue to happily read! Okay, without further ado, here's my second chapter! ;D

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**Enjoy!~**_

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><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Chapter Two: Here**

"…up. Wake up," a chilly whisper blew in my ears, and I grumbled incoherent words that even I couldn't decipher.

"Mm…" My eyelids fluttered up slowly, and I blinked to clear my vision. I was expecting to see darkness (How can I even _see _darkness?) as I did fall down a dark hole, but instead was blinded by a brilliant light. As my vision cleared once again, I sat up straight and gazed at my surroundings. Kaleidoscopic colors filled my view, and I couldn't help but be strangely awed. "So pretty," I said, still staring at the various shades of any color possible in the rainbow. I haven't seen a real one in a while, so this was just as close, and just as amazing. I wonder where I am… I remembered being hauled away by a white rabbit man and jumping in a deep, black hole. "Am I dreaming?"

"That's right," the same voice from earlier called, and I whipped around to face a silver-haired man with a gold-traced black eye patch over his right eye. He was wearing an exquisite black coat with the same gold-traced edges, and white straps were circled around either side of his body. A small smile was traced over his closed lips, and his gray eyes stared at me in some sort of amusement. "Hm, that's the first time anyone's commented this place like that," he stated, hovering toward me as if to inspect. I gulped nervously; I wasn't used to being near any males, besides my father and doctors.

"I apologize for making you nervous," he spoke again, traces of a true apologetic tone in his voice. Did he just read my mind? "Yes. By the way, my name is Nightmare Gottschalk, and I am an incubus who creates nightmares, and possibly dreams. Welcome to the Dream World." He abruptly said, and I gasped inaudibly.

My mouth hung open for a few moments before I was able to break out of my stupor. "W-well, it's nice to meet you, Nightmare. Wait…an incubus? Dream World…?" I asked incredulously, wonder present in my eyes. "Uh, nevermind...what exactly is an incubus?

It was his turn to look surprised. Suddenly, he burst out into a light fit of laughter, and I felt I couldn't pry my eyes away from him. I grinned widely in response, actually, and for once, I didn't feel any pain at the edges of my mouth. "Sorry, I really don't know. I've only read fairytales about magical creatures, not including anything about what you are. And I haven't been out for a long time…" I trailed off, the grin growing smaller as my head bowed slightly. I shook it quickly to clear my thoughts, and beamed at Nightmare, a happy expression on my face. Was it fake as well? "Anyway, maybe you can tell me about you being an incubus some other time. I have another question right now."

Nightmare's laughter had already died down, and he stared at me with a raised eyebrow. "What is it?"

"I met a rabbit man near the lake at the hospital I live in, and he took me away from my wheelchair and jumped into a huge hole with me in his arms. Who is he, and where exactly am I? Do you know?"

A small smile played at the tips of Nightmare's lips, and he floated directly in front of me. "So Peter has gone and taken our new foreigner against her will…what an amusing rabbit."

"What?"

"His name is Peter White, and he is a crazy rabbit. You have arrived promptly in Wonderland, but currently, you're passed out. Luckily, you've arrived here, as are the bridges between our worlds. I have a few things need to be explained."

I blinked a couple of times, and a nervous laugh escaped my throat. "Ha, you must be kidding! Wonderland doesn't exist! Or atleast, I don't think it does…anyway, I'm not 'Alice', who's supposed to be there. I must be just dreaming…within another dream! Right! But I have an inclining feeling I should believe you…" I sent a small, disbelieving glare his way, and he chuckled softly. "This is the first dream I've had about Wonderland..."

"Believe what you must, Regina. Perhaps this is a dream, or perhaps—"

"Wow, did you just say my name?" I interrupted him, and his eyes widened at my outburst. "Sorry about that! It's just, I'm happy my name's coming out of someone _else's _mouth for a change," I felt heat rushing to my cheeks, and I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. Oops… "Even in a dream, I'm really happy."

"You are a strange human, to think that way," Nightmare stated, hovering around me and staring intently. "You haven't changed at all." He added the last part silently, and I barely heard him, but ignored the comment, whatever it meant.

I smiled again, what was with this guy? He was making me feel like smiling… "I haven't smiled and laughed this much for a long time…" Being constantly visited by only my parents and the hospital people, I couldn't do much. I reached my hand to cover my mouth as I giggled. "You know, you're the second person to tell me I'm strange."

"Who is the other?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but a jolt of pain stabbed my heart, and I dared not speak. "I-I…" I stared at my hands on my lap, and found myself also looking sadly at my unmoving legs. Even in dreams, they didn't move. What a great discovery… "Someone very, very close to me: my twin brother. He was a special person," I told Nightmare, and he continued to stare at me until I said, "I'll tell you the story sometime."

"Ah…I must say, I'm impressed. You have delayed me to the point where I haven't explained a single thing to you about the 'game'."

"What game? I have to play a game now in my dream?"

He chuckled, and came over to ruffle my dark brown hair. "I'll tell you next time we meet. You need to wake up soon."

"Really? That soon? Time sure does pass when you're dreaming within a dream."

"A 'dream', right. It was wonderful meeting you, Regina."

"You too, Nightmare. Incubus or not, you sure are a nice person," I said, and smiled at him calling me by my name again. How long has it been since I've heard it roll off of someone else's tongue? "Is that right? Tell me about incubuses and what not next time."

"And until then, goodbye." Nightmare waved a hand over my eyes, and I felt drowsy instantly. Were all these characters in my dreams so magical?

I yawned tiredly, and my eyelids fell down, the darkness enclosing me again. Maybe I could ask Nightmare for some of that magical power he has to let me fall asleep on my sleepless nights.

But I guess I couldn't in this soon ending dream, right?

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><p>"Ugh, my head…" I pushed myself of the ground lazily, and after rubbing my eyes, I regained my sight. Where was I now? "A forest, huh…just the place I wanted to be in. Wait, where's my wheelchair?"<p>

I looked around, unable to spot my chair anywhere. "Oh no, I can't get around without it! Ah, big problem…oh no…" I started patting the ground aimlessly, trying to scatter the pink petals laying on the soft green grass from me. A warm feeling passed through my body, and I blinked at the new sensation. I remembered this place, I was here as a kid, but where exactly was this?

_Here…_

_Here…_

"Here?" I repeated, my eyes widening slightly. What was I saying? 'Here' is Wonderland; I couldn't have possibly have been here as a kid.

I shook my head, and my hand bumped something smooth and hard. Definitely not a leaf… "What?" I let my gaze fall on the object, revealing it to be a sky blue bottle, the same color as my irises, with liquid filling it up to the top. The bottle was sealed with a heart-shaped cap, and the feel of the whole bottle was cold. I took a hold of it, and something clicked in my brain. "I've seen this before, but where…?"

_Here…_

_Here…_

"Enough!" I shouted, huffing as I regained my composure. What was with these strange images running through my brain? This was going to leave me completely ragged… "Well, might as well keep it…might come in handy, whatever it is…"

I sat there in silence as I gripped the bottle tightly. I wasn't able to walk, how was I going to get anywhere? "I'm in a predicament, aren't I…?"

"Um, excuse me, but why are you talking to yourself, miss?" A voice right behind me inquired, and I almost shot up had it not been the immobility of my legs.

I scooted around and faced the source, only to bump my face into something hard, yet just a bit soft. "Oof!" I got knocked back, and my head came in contact with the ground still covered in leaves. "Ouch…"

"Oh, sorry about that!" The person apologized, and as I pulled myself up, I was staring into their eyes. A beautiful shade of dark red… I looked away, and took in _his _features. Tawny, messy light brown hair and an intricate red coat traced with black and gray, buckles around either arm. Did all the people in Wonderland have such fancy clothing? I looked down at my slightly dirty hospital dress, and sighed heavily.

"Why don't you get up?" The man unexpectedly asked, tilting his head a bit to the side causing some of his hair to fall into his eyes. He didn't seem to mind much as he bent over a little. "Here, take my hand." He extended his dark gray gloved hand, breaking me out of my thinking trance. I stared disbelievingly at him; how could he expect me to take up his offer? Then again, he didn't exactly know about my problem…

"Thank you for your help, but I can't exactly…walk…" I explained hesitantly, feeling suddenly inclined to tell this stranger. He didn't look like a bad person, in fact, he was kind of cute. I flushed at the thought, and he shot me an even more questioning stare. "S-sorry, I was thinking about something. Really, I can't take up your kind offer, however much I wish I could. I—"

"Hm..." He eyed me suspiciously for some time, looking rather skeptical. His eyes were burning holes through me, and I couldn't help but fidget. He finally spoke up, seeming rather gleeful as he retracted his hand, "Anyway, my name's Ace, the Knight of the Heart Castle, at your service." Ace bowed, his hand sweeping over to the side in a graceful way. I couldn't help but giggle, and that made him look up in slight surprise.

"Your giggle…"

"Hm? Is there something wrong with it?"

"No…it just…brings back some old memories," he answered slightly nonchalantly, looking away off to the side, and he looked somewhat dazed as he scuffed cherry petals off his dark boots. I sat there stunned, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. Within his tone, I could pull out fragments of remorse, and something else. There must've been something, or someone, that impacted him.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. My name is Regina Uehara," I said, smiling to try to lighten up the mood. Smiling was becoming too common for me. "Unfortunately, I have no great title, unlike you. I'm just a crippled girl for all I know."

"Crippled? You?"

I nodded, and Ace seemed rather taken aback by this. I was surprised by his reaction; didn't he piece together my words from earlier? "It's kind of a long story…"

"I've got time to spare before I report back to my queen. Go for it," he smiled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't think telling a story out here in the forest is a good idea."

"Then how about this!" Suddenly, Ace bent over quickly and pulled me up by my waist, and I gasped at the abrupt action.

"W-wait! What are you doing?"

"Helping you 'get up'," he replied coolly, a happy grin upon his features. What was up with these people picking me up without my consent? Not that I minded much really… Ace set me onto my feet, and I was expecting myself to stumble and drop back to the ground; it didn't exactly go according to plan.

My bare feet touched the warm grass, and I stood still without any problem when Ace released my waist. I gasped as I shakely stepped back to hold my stand, eyes widening ever so. My reaction must've been something, for Ace suddenly blew up with laughter. "Your face, it's priceless! Is it that much of a shock?" He slapped his leg repeatedly for a while, laughter going on. Was it really _that _funny?

"Don't laugh so much! My legs…they really aren't supposed to move!" I was really shocked at this. For over five years, I've been in a wheelchair, and for the first time…they moved. They actually moved.

"Ah, what a good laugh. I haven't had one in a long time…" He wiped away an almost nonexistent tear from his eye, another one of his cheerful smiles present. He started backing away, and stopped when he was about a few feet away from me. "Go ahead and try to walk over to me!" he called, shuffling his boots in anticipation.

"O-okay…if you say so." I stiffly stuck out a foot, and almost lost my balance. I could hear a small, stifled chuckle erupt from Ace, and sent an unintimidating glare his way. I huffed, and starting reaching my legs out, and before I could register everything, I was walking as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Well, for normal people it was, anyway.

"I'm walking! I'm actually walking!" I exclaimed, a new sensation building up in my chest.

"That's a no-brainer, Regina! Keep going, you're almost there!"

Instead of reaching Ace by walking, though, I jumped forward, startling him as I tackled him. He held his ground, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. "I've never felt so happy! Thank you Ace!" I cheered, grinning widely as I hugged Ace tighter. Then I realized what I was doing, and immediately jumped off, blushing like mad. "I'm sorry about that…I got too carried away…" I apologized, feeling even more heat rise up my neck. Wonderland affected me so much… All these bottled up emotions; were they always there?

"It's fine, as long as—"

Before he could finish his sentence, I started coughing violently, feeling a trembling feeling slide up my spine like a haunting wind. I covered my mouth, and when I pulled it down, my hand starting turning see through. "What's happening?" My voice was lighter, and I felt like gagging.

"Wait, Regina…are you a foreigner?" Ace asked, and something clicked in my head. I remembered hearing Nightmare say something about one. I tried to say something, but words wouldn't leave my mouth, and Ace acted upon that. His gaze fell upon the sky blue bottle in my hand, and he grabbed it without much trouble because it was slipping out of my hold. He uncapped it, and poured the transparent liquid into his mouth, every drop. He suddenly reached for my arm, and pulled me to him, forcing his lips onto mine, and eventually, I could feel a warm tingle ripple through my body as the liquid rushed into my mouth. First I'm dragged into a world where I feel crazy, and then this happens! This sure was a strange dream. I tried prying myself weakly away, being unsuccessful in doing so. A jumble of thoughts were rushing through my brain, but I could only grasp one.

This liquid tasted _horrible_.

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><p>End AN: Well, it's finally done! How was it? xD Anyway, I hope you all liked it, and R&R if you can~

Happy reading!


	4. Chapter 3: Too Fast Paced

A/N: Hi again, everyone, and welcome back to my story! Did I update soon? I'm sorry if I didn't, I had a few school activities to do~ I apologize if anyone's OOC in this chapter, or if Regina's a mary-sue, OR if this story truly is too fast-paced! I tried so hard on this one, and it's already 12...(not really LATE, but I like sleep, and mom's...nagging -_-) Anyway, tell me if you have any advice, and I'm open for suggestions on the next chapter! Give a few, I'm kind of stuck(brain's not working...)! Also, sorry if Regina asks too many questions. She's just inquisitive~ Okay, well, I've rambled long enough! I hope you all like it, and remember, reviews with suggestions if possible!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**~Enjoy!~**_

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><p><strong>T<strong>**he Person I Was**

**Chapter Three: Too Fast-Paced**

I felt terrible, and for some _many _reasons, the liquid wouldn't go down my throat, even though Ace forced me to drink part of it. He could've just told me to drink it, but I guess the bottle was really slipping out of my grasp. "Come on, Regina, it isn't that bad. It didn't even taste like anything to me," Ace tried to persuade me into swallowing as he wiped away some spilt liquid on his chin.

My face scrunched up into disgust, but I managed to quash the bitter, watery taste as I pinched my nose, gulping down the rest of it. I let out a huge exhale of air before turning to glare at Ace. I wasn't transparent anymore, but I couldn't get that awful nagging feeling away that something was just stolen from me. A _kiss_, maybe…"Why did you have to do that?"

"Because you're a foreigner, and you would've disappeared."

"Foreigner? What do you mean?"

Ace let a close-eyed smile form on his features, and he started explaining. "Hm, I only heard this from Julius once, but if a foreigner ever came to Wonderland, they'd have to immediately drink a potion of hearts to prevent from disappearing. This is the first time I've seen that kind of thing happen, though, with all that disappearing, and the last time a foreigner came, she…" He suddenly trailed off, leaving me to stare at him curiously. There was that distant look again, and those small fragments of sadness that were truly big hints. Who was that other foreigner, and why did he look so sad about her? Perhaps she…left? I didn't want to ask such a question now, so I just nodded in recognition.

After hearing him finish up with another one of his grins, I felt a twinge at my heart. His smiles reminded me of how I was before I arrived shortly in this place, those fake smiles that took pieces of me along with them when they were shown. Did it hurt him as much as it hurt me? "Well then, I guess I have to say that I'm actually grateful," I said, staring at my hands again as if to make sure I wouldn't fade again. It's not a nice feeling, to believe I almost never existed in the very least. I shivered, and Ace raised his eyebrows.

"Are you cold? Though it's spring…want to borrow my coat? You are wearing thin clothes."

"No, it's fine. I was just thinking about something; about how long I'll be here, and of how long this freedom will last," I answered, whispering the last part mostly to myself, and Ace didn't seem to have heard it.

"Ah, okay. Oh, now I just remembered." He rubbed his chin in thought, "I was supposed to report back to the Castle of Hearts, but I met you here. You sure delayed me! I got lost too… I don't suppose you know how to get back, right?"

"No, I've never even seen it, sorry. Ha, I've been told many times I delay people." I laughed softly, placing a hand on the log I was sitting on. I set my gaze on the ground with clashing spring colors, and noticed the scenery dimming. "Hm?" I looked up at the sky, the colors of purple and navy blue meshing into a semi-spiral. "It's already becoming night?"

"That's right. Time passes fast here in Wonderland," Ace responded to my question, directing his gaze on the sky as well. "We should probably get going, or the queen will probably say something about 'chopping my head off'. Would you like to come with me?"

"Really? You'd let me?"

"Of course, and as I am an honest knight, I wouldn't want a young lady to be in a forest alone at night," Ace chuckled, and I smiled as I got up from my seat.

"You know which way it is right?"

"Yep! I'm a knight there, like I said, so I have to know the way. I'm pretty sure it's in this direction!" He pointed off to the right, and starting marching slowly away whistling a tune as I caught up to him. Even though my legs were able to move, they were incredibly numb, to the point where it actually hurt to come in contact with something. I tried rubbing them in a soothing way, but the pain was all the same.

"So when do you think we'll reach that castle, Ace?" I asked, walking by his side. I wanted to get there soon, being tired after so many encounters, and really, I hadn't gotten much sleep even when Nightmare said I was sleeping.

Without sparing me a glance, he replied happily, "Not sure, but it's definitely this way!"

"Well, if you're sure…" I slowed my pace down, and stumbled a bit behind him. He was so tall, towering about a good five inches or more over me. The stars started appearing one by one, each twinkling with their very own brilliance. There was still light outside, but because of the trees overhead, it was so weak, I had to squint a bit. Despite these minor difficulties, the trip to the Castle of Hearts was going good.

Atleast Ace knew where he was going, I think.

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><p>"Ace! Ace! Come on, this isn't funny…where are you?" I called out, hearing only a chilling breeze blow over. I shivered, feeling the goose bumps crawl up my arms. It was so cold, as if the weather took a turn for the worse. I couldn't feel anything on my legs, so I trudged on, having lost Ace when I was staring at the starry sky. It looked so different from the one back in my world. How could I be so stupid, though? I <em>lost <em>him! I sighed heavily, having felt more exhaustion creep up on me. I clutched the sky blue bottle closer to my chest as I rubbed my arms up and down, trying to conserve heat. "The next place I end up at better be the castle…Achoo!"

I sneezed a couple of times, and rubbed faster, stepping over ragged and smooth rocks in my way. The wind was picking up its speed, and so was I in finding shelter. "There has to be a place I can atleast rest at…Ah!" I spotted a black barred gate not far from me, and got to the task of getting there.

"Wow…not a castle, but it sure is…big." I looked from left to right, seeing no one in sight as I approached the very tall structure beyond the gate. "This is the first time I've seen a mansion…are there any guards around?"

"Onee-san**[1]**, do you have any business at the mansion?" Two sync voices filled my ears on either side, and I almost jumped.

I turned to face the source. "Yes, I wanted to ask if you know where the Castle of Hearts is—" I backed away slightly as something almost swiped my face. My back was against the hard bars of the gate, and I subconsciously gripped the bottle in hand tighter. "W-what?" I stared up into two identical faces, the only difference between each being the eye color; red and blue, two opposite colors. I felt a miniscule stab to my heart. Red and blue, the colors Ethan and me used to use in painting, and the eye colors that made us so different. Why did this hurt so much? My gaze wandered to the base of the face and eyes, seeing two child-like figures that seemed to be twins. Their uniforms were the same, only the colors matched each other's own eye colors, and their short, forest green hair gleamed from underneath their caps from the small lights on the walls displayed around the area.

"Good evening, onee-san. We're the guards here," the blue twin said, holding up a dangerous looking pole object. What was that thing, anyway?

"Yep, and we get rid of all trespassers. You seem to be one too," The red twin said next, shifting into the same stance as his brother.

"You don't look like such a bad person, but…"

"People usually aren't always as they seem."

"Hm, that is true. For all you know, I'm just a 'trespasser'." I nodded my head in small agreement, images flashing before my eyes of my mother and father, the two people who were best at hiding their terrible traits. The twins looked a bit surprised at my approval, but still edged on. The pointy long objects they were holding were nearing my neck, but I didn't flinch much. I didn't even know what they were, but I guess the fear of the unknown didn't reach me. The items were right in front of me, afterall. Moving was almost impossible too. "However, I just wanted to know if—"

"Don't worry, it won't hurt _that _much, right brother?" the blue twin cut me off with a question to his other, a wide smile on his face. My hand without the bottle, in an unintended manner, curled up into a fist. I wasn't really happy with these twins…

"Yup, let's kill her, brother. We can polish these poles up later."

"Mhm."

"But I was—" I tried to begin, but was interrupted _again_.

"We're not letting you—"

Before they could say any more, though, I raised a hand up, and they stopped in their tracks on sending their…'poles' at me, giving me strange stares. I unfurled the fist that my free hand made, and relaxed finally. "You know, you should stop interrupting someone who's just asking a simple question. If you don't know the answer, then that's fine. You shouldn't just say you're going to 'kill' someone right off the bat." I finally was able to talk, and loosened my grip on the sky blue bottle. "I'm going to ask again, and please give me an honest answer instead of pointing…those at me." I sent them a small smile, and they actually, but slowly, lowered their poles, staring at me with waiting eyes.

"Do you both know where the Castle of Hearts is? Or any safe shelter close to here I could stay at for the night?"

"Hey, you two! What are you doing, making so much noise?" As the twins were about to answer, another voice reached my ears, and I turned at the same time as them to stare at the new person…with a pair of lightly shaded caramel (_and _fluffy) ears… "Geez, can't you not slack off for once…? And who's the girl?" The man speaking was very tall, wearing, like the other people I'd already met in Wonderland, a somewhat fancy black coat with purple-traced edges and turquoise decorations. A gold, belt-like buckle sash was wrapped around his body, starting from his right shoulder to his waist, winding around his hips to form something like a belt holding a small dagger. His shiny, strawberry blonde hair reached the very base of his neck, a bit wavy at the end, and I couldn't help but stare at him. Despite his angered, annoyed tone and slightly intimidating height, he didn't seem scary at all as I first thought; in fact, he was kind of…cute? Rabbit-wise, I mean. The purple, ragged scarf made him look even more stunning, giving me more reason to gawk like an idiot.

The twins blinked, and quickly came back out of their very small daze. "I don't want my pay docked again!" The blue twin exclaimed, a whiny sound finding its way into his voice. "Why do you always have to ruin our fun?"

"Yeah, don't get in our way, Newbie-hare!" His brother yelled afterward towards the rabbit man, and he in turn grumbled something incoherent.

He turned to me then, a blank expression planted on his face. "Are you a guest? Or perhaps a spy?"

"Er…"

"Well, I don't really care either way. You have a face, so maybe you're a new roleholder? I highly doubt that, though." He suddenly pulled out the dagger from his belt within its sheath, and for a moment, it blurred and materialized into a long, slender gold object.

"Dee, Dum, let me handle this one. I'm kind of bored, and I just got this new gun from Blood. It supposedly kills really fast." A smile formed from his previous gesture, and with that, he pointed it at me.

I just stared oddly at the 'gun', and remembered reading about it somewhere in a pirate story. The rabbit man raised an eyebrow curiously. "Hm, I'm in the mood to hear some last words. Got any?"

I looked up into his eyes, an intriguing dark, misty lavender shade. "Last words? I don't know…oh, so just like the pirates in those stories, you use different types of 'guns' to hurt people," I said, and his eyes widened just a tad bit. The twins gasped, and I tilted my head in confusion. What was the big surprise? Oh yeah, they know nothing about me…ha…

"What are you talking about? You don't know what a gun is?"

"Ha, when you're in the hospital for a _long _time, and I really mean long, you never actually learn much about things in life," I laughed, and temporarily shivered again from the cold. I reached out and pointed at the part where his gloved finger lay ready to pull back. "Is that the trigger? I've only seen a picture of this ugly pirate that pulled it and killed his captain because of mutiny."

The rabbit man stood there speechless and just nodded, and I felt a weird feeling wash over me. Did I say something wrong? "I guess I didn't say any good last words, huh? Hey, do you know—nevermind…is there any shelter nearby where I can spend the night? I'm kind of new here, and I lost my traveling companion a while ago." Forget the castle, I just needed shelter!

"Well well well, what do we have here?" Another voice entered the scene, and everyone there turned to look at the source. Another man with a black top hat decorated with strange cards, red roses, and colorful shapes came toward us, and I couldn't help but blush a bit. He was really handsome, with distinct features, captivating emerald eyes, and slightly spiky black hair. His coat was also fancy, different whites contrasting, a few other shapes, and a black and gold patterned bow in front. People in Wonderland sure did like to pop out of nowhere, practically.

"Boss!"

"Blood! What are you doing here?" the rabbit man lowered his gun immediately and returned it to its dagger form to slip back to where it was earlier.

"I should be asking you the same thing, Elliot. What would you be doing late at night with a gun to a young lady's neck?" He turned toward me this time, lips curving up gently.

"W-well, I…"

"Boss, isn't she a trespasser? We all know she isn't your guest or ally!" The twins called at the same time, and I almost giggled had it not been the slight contempt in their voices.

The man named Blood started making his way to me, and I couldn't help but follow his figure. Maybe he placed a spell on me, just like Nightmare? I shook my head suddenly, and before I knew it, he was standing before me.

He gazed at me for some time, rubbing his chin in thought, emeralds piercing me with interest. I just wanted to scramble away, but seeing as I just met these people, it would've been rude. "Are you perhaps a foreigner?" He finally asked, and I looked surprised. Did he know about all that stuff? Of course he did, I mean, who wouldn't in _Wonderland_? Besides me.

"You know?" I inquired, staring up at him. Ugh, why were all these guys so tall? I was just a _few _inches taller than the twins, but I didn't think they minded much being around all these tall men. "Finally, someone who can tell I'm really not from here! Oops, sorry, that wasn't meant to come out so rude…" I turned to the twins and the rabbit man, scratching my head apologetically. "Sorry there, I always tend to run my mouth…a lot."

"A foreigner…" the rabbit man replied, his facial look somewhere between distant and curious. He suddenly knitted his orange eyebrows together, staring intently at me. "You look…like someone."

"Achoo!" I sneezed loudly, a squeak mixed in there, and all four of them jumped a bit in surprise. I rubbed my nose, feeling itchy all of a sudden.

"It seems our young lady here is cold. Come, you may stay for the night if you wish," Blood offered, and the gates to his mansion opened like magic. "By the way, my name is Blood Dupre."

"It's nice to meet you, Mister Dupre. My name's Regina Uehara, but I prefer to be called Regina. Are you sure it won't be a problem?"

"Then Blood will do just fine, Regina. It won't be a problem at all if you stay, we'd love you here." He took my free hand in his, and brushed a kiss lightly on top. I felt the heat rush up into my cheeks, and my heart pounded quickly for a moment. What was this?

"Ooh, introductions!" The twins exclaimed, and trotted over to me, their sharp poles behind their backs.

"I'm Dee!" The blue twin took one of my arms and linked it with his.

"And I'm Dum! It's nice to meet you, onee-san!" The red twin took my other arm, linking it with his like his brother, and they both pulled me forward towards the mansion.

"Yay, we get a new onee-san!"

A bubbly feeling swirled in my chest, and I almost felt the need to spring up and down like a giddy little girl. "Nice to meet you too, Dee, Dum."

"A-ah, sorry about earlier…my name is Elliot March," the rabbit man known as Elliot caught up with us, and I smiled.

"No need for apologies! That was quite an experience, having a gun pointed at me and saying my 'last' words." I giggled at the previous event, and Elliot's cheeks heated up. He looked so adorable! I must have said that out loud, for Elliot turned a burning scarlet, and Dee and Dum huffed.

"How about us, onee-san?"

"You guys are cute too, probably 'handsome', in a sense." It was so odd answering that kind of question, since I just met them.

Dee and Dum glanced at each other for a second, as if not sure what to say. Did they doubt me? I giggled again abruptly, and they smiled lightly. "Tomorrow, maybe we can show onee-san our treasures!"

"Ha, that would be nice~" I yawned, and Blood chuckled from behind. We reached the big doors of the mansion, and I felt drowsy again.

"Dee and Dum, lead Regina to her room," Blood told the twins, and they grinned while pulling me along. Blood and Elliot departed from us, and I was dragged away. Everything was going by so fast; I'd met so many people in mere short hours. Wonderland sure was amazing, dream or not. My head was hurting, probably from exhaustion.

But right now, all I cared about was crawling under sheets and sleeping. As Dee and Dum took me to a guest room, chattering about it being next to theirs, I reminisced about today's events, and how tomorrow would end up.

But the pounding in my head wouldn't stop, even when I hit the sheets.

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><p><strong>[1] I'm pretty sure you all know what 'onee-san' means, but just to clear it, it means 'older sister', and Dee and Dum usually call Alice that, so why not Regina? (Alice is 17 in the gamemanga/movie, and Regina's about the same age)**

End A/N: Well, thanks to anyone who reviewed last chapter, your such great inspirations! ;D I'm hoping to get more reviews on this story, cause I sort of got this..._rival _thing going on with a few other people in this Archive. xD I know you know what I mean! (It's happened to everyone atleast once-maybe) Anyway, R&R if you can, suggestions are always needed, and thanks once again for reading it! See you all soon, and I'll try updating again soon(is it soon?o_o)!

Happy reading!


	5. Chapter 4: A 'Normal' Day in the Mansion

A/N: Well, howdy there, folks(shoot, I got myself in cowgirl mode, hold on xD)! Okay, well, welcome back to my story! Thanks to all of those who reviewed, you give me such inspiration to keep going! I apologize if anyone's OOC, if this is rushed, or if Regina is mary-sue here(so far, she isn't, much to my pleasure ;D)! I haven't got much to say about this one, I think I did okay, and there's more Dee and Dum in this chapter(sorry if you were expecting some other things o_o, that will be next chapter)! There's also humor incorperated in this chapter, so I hope to get a few laughs or smiles! xD Suggest anything if you want! Okay, here it is! Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**Enjoy!~**_

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><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Chapter Four: A 'Normal Day' in the Mansion**

"Mm…huh?" I rubbed my eyes, blinking a couple of times. I immediately lit up, standing up with superior awe strewn across my face. "The dream world! That means…" I stumbled a bit, but felt a surge of warmth wrap around my left arm and steady me. I looked up, and already knew who exactly it was. After all, who was the only person I knew that could float around in a dream?

"Nightmare!" I grinned, and he let go of my arm gently, lips curved up into an amused smile.

"I see you've found your legs," he commented, landing on the 'ground' with grace. "It's nice to meet you again."

"As to you. Heh, this place is exactly as I remember it. Bright, airy, colorful, and dreamy!" I laughed lightly at my corniness, and Nightmare's smile grew.

"How is Wonderland so far? Is it to your liking?"

My smile subsided, and I thought for a moment. I wanted to talk about all the magnificent experiences I already had, about the things I saw, but would those all be too much?

"They wouldn't. We have plenty of time before you wake up," Nightmare said, and I shot him a soft, playful glare.

"Reading my mind again, eh?" He just laughed in response, and I sighed. "This world is so much fun; the people I've met are really interesting, even though they like interrupting so much. But I have this feeling…"

"Hm?"

I turned to him, looking him dead on in the eye. "That this freedom I feel, that these moments I've had will disappear; just like many things from my world." Like Ethan… My eyes were dragged into a downcast state, and I gripped the front of my dress where my heart was.

"That won't happen again, not this time." My eyes shot up, and I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. This time? Was there another time? That wasn't possible…

"Nightmare, who was the foreigner that came before me?" I suddenly asked, finding myself in a sitting position with my knees drawn up under my chin.

"You mean after."

"What?"

Nightmare started coughing, and I quickly got up and as if on instinct, patted his back. He stopped after a while, and when I stared at the hand that he covered his mouth with, it was covered with a bright red substance. Blood. "Nightmare, are you okay? I'm sorry for asking that question!"

"I'm fine, don't apologize. I tend to voice my thoughts too much sometimes."

"But what did you mean by after? That's impossible, because I swear, I was never…" I trailed off, and something struck me as odd. "…here."

Nightmare tensed visibly, and wiped his hand with a handkerchief from his right breast pocket. He straightened, pushing the cloth back in place. "The last foreigner we had was named Alice. Alice Liddell. She left some time ago."

"Liddell?" I inquired, surprise evident in my voice.

"You know her?"

I took to silence for a moment, memories flowing through my brain. Before I was sent to the hospital, I always had to attend parties with my family. Ethan would always complain, and manage to escape, leaving me to deal with curious adults asking me a wave of irritating personal questions. During one particular party, I met an older girl with the same name as that foreigner. "I remember spending Sunday nights with her watching the stars, after she spent some time with her older sister, and we always made up new constellations. My brother Ethan would be snoring under a nearby tree when we giggled about it. I haven't seen her in years, and Ethan…" A lump caught in my throat, and I swallowed silently. Nightmare must've got the message that I felt too drowned to continue further, and he exhaled.

"Our time is almost up." Turning to me as he swiftly floated before me, he smiled. "I do have time to tell you about the 'game', though." Our eyes met, and I smiled too. For an 'incubus' (which I still didn't know about), he sure was good, but as he began, I couldn't help but think of what he meant when he said Alice came 'after' me. A strange look was in his eyes as he went through why I was here, and of the potion. I wanted to know all about Wonderland now, and of what happened before I came, maybe even after; the shards of sadness weren't hard to spot in each individual's eyes I met so far, no matter how much they masked it. Nightmare, Ace, Dee and Dum, Elliot, even Blood. Was Alice's leave that painful? Did she even leave? Nightmare stopped talking, and I stared at him, my thoughts all on that one thing.

Could he read my mind then?

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><p>"Wake up, Miss. Miss Regina, please wake up. Master Dupre is waiting," a somewhat worried voice called me out of my sleep, and I immediately shot up, scaring the person who was shaking me.<p>

"Hm? Who are you?" I stared at the young girl to my right, and almost gasped. Her eyes were missing. Was this a faceless that Nightmare was talking about? This person wore a standard maid uniform, and had curly brown locks. She looked younger than me.

"I-I have no name. I'm a faceless, and I'm just here to wake you up, Miss Regina." I was right.

"Please, don't be so formal! Regina's fine," I said, reaching to shake her hand, but she backed away slightly. I was confused by the time I registered that action. "What's wrong?"

"It would be bad for a faceless like me to even consider being close to you. Please, we must hurry before—"

"Too bad," I sang, grabbing her hand and shaking it vigorously. I was not about to let the chance of making a new friend slip away. So what if she was a faceless? Though Nightmare said it was a big deal if faceless mingled with roleholders or foreigners.

A light shade of red found its way to the faceless girl's face, and she drooped her head down, as if embarrassed. We released hands, and I smiled sheepishly. The warmth was still there. "I'm sorry for being so straight-forward. I just don't like how you see me so much higher than yourself. So, Blood wants me to go?"

She nodded, head still down. "Which way?" I asked, and this time, she snapped her head up, and a small smile traced her face while she responded to my words.

"Allow me to lead you, Miss—"

"Regina, _please_."

"R-Regina."

I smiled widely, and as I got out of the big bed, the girl handed me something. "Are these new clothes?"

"Yes."

"Wow, great! Thank you so much, I was getting really tired of wearing this dress!" I swiftly threw the hospital dress off, the tightness of it off my body, and tilted my head when the faceless maid flushed. "What's wrong now?"

"Regina…you…"

I stared down at my body, and noticed I didn't have anything on my chest at the moment. It was my turn to turn red, as I remembered I hadn't worn anything under my dress the day I was taken here, besides a pair of thin panties. "S-sorry!" I covered myself with the bed sheet, holding it tightly as the maid hurriedly went to a closet in the room and took out something that looked like an undergarment. "I've been forgetting a lot of things since I've entered Wonderland."

She chuckled softly, and helped me up to put the article of clothing on. "It's fine. Many times, in this mansion, I've forgotten tasks. I'm lucky to be living right now."

I froze a bit, turning half-way to gaze at her when she tightened the strings on the back. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, the masters—"

"Onee-san!" The door suddenly flung open, revealing Dee and Dum with close-eyed smiles, a cheery aura floating around them. "We came to get you, since—" They opened their eyes, and at that moment, the whole room went silent. The maid had just noticed the twins after she finished her work, gasping loudly. I could practically feel the air around me sizzle as I blushed furiously. Dee and Dum were gaping at me, frozen to the spot as their eyes roamed up and down. I grabbed the bed sheet again, and the next turn of events were definitely unexpected.

"AHHHHH!"

_A few minutes later…_

Footsteps pounded down the hallway, and Elliot appeared in the doorway, panting like crazy. I didn't notice much, however, as I was trying to rid of the twins in my room.

"Regina! I got here as soon as possible! What's wr—" Before Elliot could finish, though, a lamp came in contact with his head, sending him onto the floor with a huge _thump_. He was left sprawled on the cold ground, and despite the situation, the twins snickered.

"R-Regina, calm down!" my new faceless maid friend called, and I stopped myself from throwing a rather expensive-looking blue vase at the two before me.

"Oh no, what have I done? Elliot!" I yelled, wrapping the red sheet around my body like a dress. I ran to him, kneeling down with near tears in my eyes.

"It seems we have yet another ordeal with the young lady," Blood's voice echoed, and I looked up at him. The twins were at the doorway, silencing their snickers, and the maid was behind trying to peer over their heads.

"I'm so sorry Blood! I didn't mean to knock out anyone, or break your furniture!" I cried, and the tears fell down my cheeks. I felt so terrible, the tears just came naturally, but everyone just turned to stare at me in disbelief.

"Looks like it's our fault this time…" Dee whispered to Dum, and in turn he just nodded.

"Well, there goes our salary…"

"Dee, Dum." Blood eyed them dangerously, and they gulped.

"N-no, Blood, it was my fault…don't blame them," I tried, but it seemed Blood didn't hear me. Or did he?

"I'm not docking your pay this time, but I'm not allowing you to bring back any other weapons for this week. Understand?"

"No!" Dee and Dum yelled in unison. "You can't do this to us! We _just _found a new gun some while ago!"

Blood glared at them, and they quieted. He turned to me then, a gentle smile on his face as if all that hadn't happened. "I apologize for their foolishness. Please, go back to dressing, and we'll take care of Elliot."

I wiped my cheeks with my sheet, and nodded slowly, glancing at Dee and Dum, who seemed to be really upset. I was going to have to make it up to them… "Okay."

As Blood and the twins took Elliot away, the maid sighed, and shut the door when I entered. "What a change in our normal day…"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Usually, the masters, any one of them, would end up killing a faceless this early in the morning. Perhaps they were meaning to, but heard the ruckus."

"I'm sorry…" I bowed my head as she shook hers, getting the dress from earlier. I must've caused her a lot of trouble.

"No need for apologies."

After I pulled on the pretty green dress she held up for me, I slipped into some sunflower sandals. "Could I name you?" I asked abruptly, causing the maid to drop the duster that seemed to have magically appeared in her hand. She turned to me, mouth agape. "I-I mean, since you don't have one…"

"Name me? I don't think that's very necessary, though."

"It is to me!" I exclaimed, and if she had eyes, I was sure they just widened. "I don't want to call you a 'faceless', or just a maid. Oh, how does May sound? You know, a better way of maid? Oh, that sounds bad…"

"That…would be fine." A smile edged on, and we ended up both laughing a bit as I finished dressing.

"Here." I took out a flower from another vase, a bright yellow daisy, and slipped it in her hair. "This way, I can tell it's you, if I happen to forget."

May blushed, and touched the flower absentmindedly when I giggled.

So this was how it felt to make a 'friend'; it sure was a weird feeling, yet it made me so...bubbly.

* * *

><p>"Dee, Dum, I'm so sorry!" I bowed down to the two, hands folded on my dress. We'd all already eaten, so I figured this was the perfect time to apologize. I really felt bad for getting them in trouble, and they didn't even know I was dressing. They looked stunned for a moment when I came up, glancing at each other awkwardly. "You just surprised me, I guess. My actions weren't needed."<p>

A glint found its way into their opposite eyes, and they grinned. "We'll forgive you…" Dee began, leaning forward.

"…if you'll let us show you our 'treasures'," Dum finished, doing the exact same thing.

"Treasures?"

"Yep! We've got lots, and since onee-san doesn't know much about them, we want to show you." If I didn't know better, I could've sworn that I caught a dark edge to their tones. I ignored it, though, considering I was interested enough.

"Well, lead the way!" I grinned with them, and they pulled me along. This treasure business sounded a lot like the fairy tales I read about, and I felt really eager to see it.

About a couple of minutes later, we reached Dee and Dum's room, and my heart was thumping in my chest. I really wanted to know about that treasure, and they seemed really indulged in it as well when they opened the door. However, part of that excitement left my body when I looked inside. "Ta-da! This is our room!" they exclaimed in unison, really wide smiles on their faces.

They pulled me inside, and I sat on the couch, gawking at the objects displayed everywhere. There were daggers, swords, guns, pointy poles, and a whole collection full of variety that looked somewhat…dangerous. "Wow…there sure are a lot…"

"Onee-san, just wait a moment! We'll get our treasures," they said, voice in sync as they conversed and started searching through a couple of boxes in the room. They were so cute; I just kept smiling like a fool and watching them. They reminded me so much of my childhood, I couldn't hold back my fondness. Finally, they came back to me, and set a bunch of things onto the wooden table in front of me. The items dropped with a few _clunks_, and I stared at them as the twins laughed.

"Onee-san, these are our treasures!"

There were bumpy, oval-shaped objects with what looked like caps on them, dark spheres connected by chains to individual handles, spiky sticks, needles, and many other weird things. "They sure look interesting, but…what are they?"

The moment I asked that, they froze. I felt the cold sweat appear on the back of my neck; did I say something wrong, _again_?

"Onee-san doesn't know what these are…"

"What should we do?"

"Ah, she must know what this is!" Dee exclaimed, reaching for a dagger, and Dum immediately brightened up, pulling out a sword from a box nearby.

"How are these, onee-san?" they asked together, and I smiled, taking the dagger that Dee held out for me. The handle was out, so I grasped that and turned it here and there, inspecting it as if I was some expert, which I wasn't, of course.

"This one's really pretty," I commented, tracing a finger over the turquoise designs on the brown handle. "The metal looks like silver…"

"It is! How did you know, onee-san?"

They sat on either side of me, waiting patiently for my answer. I clenched the dagger tighter, they were really adorable! "Well, when I was in the hospital, the nurses would bring me all kinds of books. I read a book about ores, jewels, and metals before, so I know a bit about them."

They stared at me in awe, and I felt the need to fidget under their gazes. People in Wonderland sure knew how to get me, at this point… I gave the dagger back to Dee, and he smiled as he pulled out the sharp thing attached to a handle. "I bet onee-san would like axes, right?"

"I bet onee-san would like grenades more!" Dum said at the same time as Dee, holding up the oval capped item.

They glared at each other suddenly, and for a second, I saw electricity zip through the tense air. Was this some sort of competition?

"Hey, onee-san likes axes more."

"No way, onee-san likes grenades more!"

"Hmph!" They both huffed, and I was just about ready to pinch their cheeks. They were even cute when they argued! I stiffened, holding a hand up to my forehead. Great way to be a weirdo, staring at children…

"Then let's fight to find out! Whoever dies loses."

"Eh?" I tensed at the words 'fight' and 'dies'. "W-wait a second, you don't have to go that far…why don't you tell me about them?"

"Axes can do a great deal of damage, chopping and such!"

"Grenades deal _way _more damage than axes. They can blow things up!"

Another strike of electricity flared up, and I could feel the need to dash out of there creep up. I didn't like fighting, no matter how interesting it was… "Oh yeah? Bring it on then!"

"I don't like any of them…" I interjected, and they froze before they could attack each other. They turned to me quickly, huge, sparkly tears brimming in their eyes. Uh oh...

Dum was first to start. "Then you don't like…"

"…either of us?"

I blinked, and burst out laughing, holding my stomach as I stomped the floor lightly. These cuties were too much!... "I didn't say anything like that at all! I practically _love_ you guys. I just don't like the fact that those items can hurt people tremendously." That was completely true; what was the actual point of hurting people? I didn't get it, at the most. Wait...

They glanced at each other, and pounced on me. "Really?"

"We love onee-san too!"

I stopped laughing. Did I say love? Love? I felt a jolt of pain rock my body, and cringed within their grasp. What was this? "Ugh, my head…it feels like it's splitting…" The pain was excrutiating, as if I was being hammered to something...

_No, it's too early._

_ It's not the time to remember._

_ Forget…_

The twins were immediately bombarding me about if I was fine, and the pain withered away almost instantly. "Huh? It's gone…" I let go of my head, which I was holding, and looked at Dee and Dum. Did that really happen? And what exactly was I remembering?

"Was it bad to say we loved you?" They asked, and I shook my head.

"No, I was just thinking about something…but you know, you should only say you 'I love you' to the person you'd spend the rest of your life with, or as they say, your 'true' love…and I only love you guys as little brothers so far. Sorry for meaning that wrong."

Again, they looked at each other, frowns setting on their faces. "But we love onee-san…"

"More than that…"

"Oh, I got it! Hey brother, let's show her our 'special' treasure!" Dum said, gripping my left arm tighter.

"Sounds good! Perhaps she'll get it then!" Dee replied, doing the same thing to my right arm.

"There's more treasure?" I asked, but they didn't exactly give me a reply. Did those words before even sink in? But I also felt bad…Nightmare did say something about everyone falling in love with foreigners eventually. Was it the same way when Alice was here?

They scrambled away, and I felt the heat from where they were leave. I covered my mouth as if on cue, eyes enlarging. What was this weird feeling? It wasn't like I'd never see them again…I just…

"Onee-san! This is it!" They chimed, and I looked up. Dee was holding a very sharp looking knife, and Dum was stroking it up and down with a huge smile.

"Another knife? Wow, and it's made from gold…" I said, staring at the knife with great interest. I always liked shiny objects; maybe I was related to those odd birds…

"Isn't it great? We just got our hands on it recently, before Boss proclaimed our ban from new weapons."

"Look at this fine craftsmanship…so great…"

They looked so entranced…it was as if that knife was putting a spell on them. So Dee and Dum were interested in that kind of stuff? Though it probably was interesting once you got into it, not many people were into that stuff back home…well, atleast not in the hospital.

"And onee-san…" Dee handed the golden knife to Dum, inching closer to me as they seated themselves on the couch again.

"We want to test it on you, our favorite onee-san," Dum purred, holding the knife up to my throat. Though it wasn't that big, I had a feeling of fear ignite in my system. Wasn't this all just for fun?

"That's okay, right?" They asked sweetly, and their grip on me that I hadn't noticed before tightened, as if they were trying to prevent me from escaping.

More of that fear crept up, and I felt the need to tremble. However, what I said next quickly eased my uneasiness for the nearing knife, and washed away that horrible fear. "If this will make you both happy, go ahead. Just don't go near my neck, okay? So if you're going to continue, I'll put my trust in you that you won't kill me or anything." I think I hit the mark, but I really did mean those words.

Just like in the morning, the whole room went silent, and gradually, their grips loosened, allowing me to flex my muscles; but I didn't. I was surprised at their actions. Just a few seconds ago, I was probably near death, but now, they sat their frozen, as if those words hit something.

"W-what's wrong, guys? Oh man, I've been saying a lot of wrong stuff lately, haven't I—" Before I could finish, though, Dum dropped the knife. It fell first in slow motion, but then sped up considerably, slicing a long, thin cut across my exposed thigh. They both gasped when the knife toppled to the floor, my blood shimmering on its golden blade, and I just stared at the freshly bleeding wound.

There was just one thing that made the situation bearable: I couldn't feel it. At all.

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><p>End AN: Woot! It's done, haha! xD And if I had to say, I think I did pretty well, but that's for you all to decide. o_o More Dee and Dum, yay(I absolutely love them, so...MWAHAHA!)~ Well, anyway, R&R if you can, leave some suggestions if you want(I'll take any ;D). Also, I'm thinking of doing a Pierce story that won't be too long, but won't be too short. Tell me if you know anything that might benefit his character, or any extra facts you know. ;D Stay tuned for it, because it's coming fast, I think. Well, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time, bye!

Happy reading!


	6. Chapter 5: The Sky of Fireworks

A/N: Hi everyone, and welcome to my story! I'm so very sorry for not updating for so long! School started, and I've been so busy with things(HOMEWORK IS TERRIBLE!). I hope this chapter is to your liking, and I'm sorry for the mistakes, if there are any, since I'm doing homework and this at the same time(no time to proofread -_-). If there are any mistakes, tell me, or if it's rushed. Also, I need some suggestions for the next chapter, since I want this story to be to everyone's liking. Feel free to suggest ANYTHING, it'll help! xD Okay, to the story!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**~Enjoy!~**_

* * *

><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Chapter Five: The Sky of Fireworks**

"Aw, my dress got all dirty!" I said, holding the hem of my green dress. The blood from my cut made a dark blotch on it, and the wound continued to bleed even when I applied some pressure to it. A few stray drops fell to the ground, staining the clean carpet. Cold numbness collected in the area, no feeling of pain working its way to my brain. "Dee, Dum, do you happen to have any bandages? I wouldn't want any more blood spilling everywhere…" I laughed, ruffling my hair in the back.

They sat stone-still, speechless expressions afloat. After a few seconds, though, they broke out of their trance and Dum was the one to begin. "B-but, you're hurt…"

"…don't you feel anything?" Dee followed, and the twins furrowed their eyebrows at the same time.

I blinked, and started laughing again. The stunned faces they made were so cute and funny, it was almost unbearable to not laugh. "I can't feel anything here." I pointed at the cut, a smile etched on my face. "I've had this numbness here ever since I came to Wonderland." I was still happy that I could walk, though, even when the numbness became somewhat irritating.

"But aren't you going to scold us? For being reckless or something?" They inquired, leaning toward me more.

I stopped laughing almost immediately, staring at them skeptically. "Now why would I scold you? This was an accident, and I know you both didn't mean it. And it doesn't hurt, really."

"But…"

"We…"

"Regina!" The door flung open, revealing Elliot in a flurry of huffs. "You two!" He pointed accusingly at the twins, and they knitted their eyebrows together, slight annoyance strewn across their faces. "What have you done?" Elliot looked absolutely tired, his ears drooping slightly, and his face scrunched up in a mixture of weariness and…anger? His eyes were staring at something in shock.

I followed his gaze to my cut, which had become an ugly purple color, visibly bright blood trailing down my thigh. "Elliot, it was an accident, I—" I stopped talking, cutting off my own sentence when I felt dizzy. A buzzing erupted in my ear, and I could barely make out any words the three people with me in the room were saying. I could tell they were shouting, though, and felt movement very close to me. I shut my eyes, collapsing onto something soft, the contact enough to make the buzzing even more painful. I fell into unconsciousness, a sinking feeling pulling me in.

That trail of blood wasn't exactly 'small', was it?

* * *

><p>"Ugh…" I droned, my head pounding. I lifted myself up from my fetal position, blinking back the watery substance in my eyes. The scenery was a foggy gray, something I wasn't expecting to see. "This isn't the Dream World…"<p>

"You're right," an airy voice said from behind me, and I jumped at the sound.

"Eep!" I squeaked, crumpling down in a weak fashion. A pair of warm hands pulled me up, though, and I stood there shakily staring at the person who spoke. The person vibrated as they chuckled, and I could make out their voice to be that of a female. The hood of her long, tan cloak covered her face, exposing only her mouth, which was curved up in a small smile. Even with this hiding her identity, however, I could feel a warm aura emanating from her.

"Don't be alarmed, I'm not here to harm you," she said, and with only that, I immediately calmed down. Her voice was like music, each note represented by words instead.

"Where is this?" I asked, looking at the blank background.

"This is nowhere," she answered, her voice somewhat sad.

"Nowhere? What do you mean?"

"I am not allowed in the Dream World," the lady stated, and I furrowed my eyebrows in question. "Rather, I choose not to be found there. You usually arrive in the Dream World with Nightmare when you fall unconscious or into your dreams, correct?"

"Yes. I've never been here before."

"I've called you here to ask you a favor."

"A…favor?" I stared at her intently, and for a moment, I felt a second of familiarity to this person.

"Only you can do it." She lifted a hand to her hood, and slowly pulled it off, revealing her hair that cascaded down in silky, ash blonde locks, and a face that made my eyes widen. How…

"A-Alice?" I spluttered, her name in the form of a question the only thing able to leave my mouth. I wanted to rub my eyes, rid myself of my hallucination, but I knew that wouldn't do me any good; she was here, right before my very eyes.

She laughed, the hood falling to her back as she set her aquamarine gaze upon me. "I haven't seen you in a long time, Regina, but here you are, in Wonderland," she said, the smile from the beginning never leaving her face. "I still remember those stargazing days we had."

"Alice…" I murmured, and gripped the hem of my dress, which was surprisingly clean, considering the amount of blood on it before. Then a thought came to mind. "Why did you leave them?"

Her bright smile faltered, and she clasped her hands in front of her. "Them?" she inquired, tilting her head. "You know who I mean," I said, a pained expression on my face. Even though I hadn't met everyone in Wonderland, I knew the people I had met were filled with sadness. Why did she leave? It just didn't make any sense...

"I had to," she simply said. A somewhat tense silence drifted through, and I bit my bottom lip unconsciously. 'I had to' wasn't enough to be a good answer.

"But they—"

"Regina." Alice stared at me with longing eyes. "Come closer."

I hesitantly came closer to Alice, standing right before her. All of sudden, she pulled me forward, and my head landed softly on her chest. Before I was able to react fully, though, a loud ticking sound filled my ears. _Tick…Tick…Tick…_just like Nightmare's heart. He told me everyone originally from Wonderland had clocks for hearts, and that if they died, they would be replaced.

"Alice…why is your heart ticking?"

"I don't have a heart anymore," she answered, and released me, closing her eyes.

"Why? How is this possible?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. We weren't originally from Wonderland, so Alice should have a heart. This was all too strange; she _had _to have a heart, at least.

"That does not matter." She smiled again, and took both of my hands in hers. Alice looked so distant, and I wanted to pry more into the subject, but the look she gave me told me to stay quiet. "I want you to replace me."

I stiffened, and she squeezed my hands. Replace her? "What are you talking about?" I practically yelled, staring at her as if she'd gone mad. "I could never do that! Why would you ever ask that?"

"Because you're the only one who can do it."

I felt a pang at my heart with her words, and tears started forming relentlessly in my eyes. "I-I…"

Suddenly, the dull space we were in started twisting, and Alice started becoming transparent. My watery eyes widened, my throat going dry. "Replace me." Her voice was fading, a hollow sound blowing away. I reached out, unable to reach her.

"Alice!" I cried, but she disappeared, and dark blotches started appearing in my eyes, my vision becoming scarce. "Alice!"

I couldn't reach her…I couldn't reach her. _Why?_

* * *

><p>"Alice!" I shot up, breathing raggedly. I was trembling, my eyes scanning the area. I was in the guest room Blood had provided me, all the furniture back in place as if the incident in the morning hadn't happened. I shakily got out of the huge bed, finding myself in a thin yellow dress. I was back in the mansion… The sky was a golden orange color, the sun setting behind the tall trees. My wound had been bandaged, to my surprise, and the room was dead silent, besides the quiet chirping of distant birds.<p>

"Replace her…I can't do that…" I slumped onto the floor, my back against the side of the bed. I curled my legs under my chin, and stared blankly at the opened window I just noticed. Come to think of it, I haven't noticed a lot of things since I entered Wonderland… Salty tears prickled my eyes, and I blinked rapidly to prevent them from falling; they ended up escaping, though, so I just rested my head on my knees. "It's no good…"

A sudden gust of wind broke me out of my pitying state, and my head snapped up to stare out the window again, only to meet a pair of golden eyes. "Whoops!" a cheerful male voice said, and I broke out of my little daze. "Wrong room again…hm?"

A tall boy no older than me with magenta hair covering his right eye stood in front, a soft, striped feather boa resting on his shoulders. Upside down purple triangles were under his eyes, giving him a cool look. He wore a punk outfit, golden chains and piercings poking out here and there with everything. But what really caught my attention were a pair of cat ears and swishing tail the same color as his attractive color hair attached to his head and behind.

"Who are you?" I asked, still looking intensely at his cat-like features. They looked so soft…

"I'm Boris Airay. Who are you and why do you have a face?" the cat man revealed his name, raising an eyebrow at me.

"My name is Regina Uehara. I suppose I'm a…foreigner…?"

Boris blinked, a small silence enveloping us. He looked like he was remembering something, but after a few moments, a wide grin formed on his lips. "So we have a new foreigner, eh?" He jumped over to me from the window, landing softly on his feet as he leaned forward, rubbing his chin in thought. "You're pretty."

"Eh?" I felt a small amount of heat rise up my neck, my tears still falling in a slow manner.

Boris continued to stare at me, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. "Why are you crying, though?" he asked, reaching out to brush away a few tears. Suddenly, his ears perked up, and a large grin bestowed his handsome face again. "I know what'll cheer you up! Come on."

Boris took one of my hands, pulling me up in the process. I gasped when he lifted me up, and placed me lightly on his strong shoulders. "H-hey, wait. My skirt will flip!" I exclaimed, struggling a bit as he made his way to the window. "What are you—"

"Heh, don't worry! You're in good hands, and this'll be fun!" he responded, and the next thing I knew, he jumped out casually, leaving me to yelp helplessly.

Within a few seconds, though, we were both safely on the ground, and he set me on the down in a careful manner, hands on my waist as I balanced myself on his clothed chest. "T-that w-was…" I stuttered, rummaging through my brain for the right words.

Boris' expression changed to a sad one, his ears drooping. "You didn't like it? I'm sorry…"

"I loved it!" I yelled loudly, and raised my arms up in happiness. "That was so exciting, I was stunned!" I laughed, turning to Boris with a grin of my own.

I stared at him, and my eyes widened at the sight. Tears were brimming in his beautiful gold eyes, and one ended up slipping out. The still setting sun (I found this odd, since Wonderland's time moved fast) casted an ethereal glow on him, and I think my heart stopped beating at his blank, yet despairing face.

"You look so much like her..." he murmured, his eyes downcast. When I stared into his lovely eyes, I saw those obvious bits of sadness reflect, and I felt a small bundle of anger well up. I reminded him of Alice? I clenched my fist lightly, feeling bitterness well up. Didn't Alice realize the pain they were in? Why did she have to leave? I could never replace her, much less heal their hearts that way. I had to figure out why she left.

I shook my head, and leaned up to wipe away his tears. He flinched at the contact, releasing me. I shot him a soft smile, and inched closer, cupping one of his wet cheeks in my hand. "Are you okay?" I asked, trying to make it clear that I was extremely worried, even though I'd just met him minutes ago. I already felt a connection growing, just like how I'd met the people who'd approached me.

"Huh?" He blinked, and reached a hand up to his face. After realizing he'd been silently crying, he rubbed furiously at the tears, succeeding in wiping them all away. "O-oh, I'm sorry about that…got a little dazed out," he apologized, his voice cracking at the dazed part.

I smiled, and took a step back to give him room to breathe. "No need for apologies," I stated, and glanced up at the finally darkening sky. "Sometimes the strongest people in the world are those who let any emotions out. Especially those tears I can tell you've held for a long time."

I set my gaze back on Boris, and for a second, I thought he looked surprised. However, when he had a sheepish grin form on his face, I shrugged the thought away. "You sound so wise for your age~" he chimed, taking my hand again. I shot him a playful glare and smile; did he just insult me? "Anyway, we best get going to the Amusement Park. Wouldn't want to miss the fireworks."

"Fireworks?" I questioned his statement, looking rather confused. What were fireworks?

He eyed me strangely, raising an eyebrow. "You don't know what fireworks are?"

I shook my head, a frown on my face when a light blush dusted my puffy cheeks. I felt so dumb, not knowing anything about so many things. "I haven't been out of the hospital for so long. I never got the chance to see many things." I sounded so pitiful…

"Nya ha, well now's your chance!" Boris beamed, and starting dashing at full speed, with me barely catching up after reacting. The rush of the wind pounded in my ears, and the only thing I noticed besides Boris' tall figure were dazzling, colorful lights in the distance beyond the trees.

Come to think of it, what was an 'Amusement Park'?

* * *

><p>"Okay, Regina. Sit right here," Boris commanded, and I sat down on the flowing green grass, folding my dress to sit. The blades tickled my arms as I rested them close to my body, tilting my head at Boris. I'd been with him for a while, and we finally arrived in a secluded grass area, the lights of the 'Amusement Park' a bit closer. We talked about a lot of things, and I was starting to like him a lot. He reminded me of someone...<p>

"Why are we sitting here?" I asked, feeling a yawn gurgle up.

He just laughed his cat-like chuckle, and grinned widely. "You'll see." He plopped down to my right, laying his boa down on the grass and resting his head on it. Unraveling it slowly, he pulled it more, letting it stretch over to my side. "Wanna lie down too?" he offered, smiling warmly.

I immediately fell back, my head making contact with the comfortable material. "So soft…" I murmured, closing my eyes as I snuggled into it.

Boris yawned lazily, stretching out as he pointed at the sky. "Regina, pay close attention to the sky, okay?"

I reopened my eyes, and smiled as I rotated my head up to the heavens. Stars were twinkling, the crescent moon shining down on us. All of a sudden, a crackle sounded, and I jumped in surprise. Boris chuckled, and slipped his gloved hand to hold mine. A flash appeared, and the sky was lit up with blinding, vivid sparks in the shapes of many different things. I gasped, and squeezed Boris' hand in the process, the lights bursting every so often.

"Boris…"

"Like the fireworks?" he grinned that toothy grin, and I nodded in awe, lips curving up.

"They're so beautiful…" I laughed, my eyes glistening with tears of joy. Flowers, jewels, symbols, swirls, all sorts of things appeared, opening a new door in my mind. I heard a click inside my head after a while, as if I just remembered something, and my smile faltered. My head was pounding again, and images of someone who looked similar to me appeared.

Why did my heart hurt, even with this beautiful display? And who was this person?

* * *

><p>End AN: It's done! Yay! xD Agh, I hate history homework...T_T Though I really like my teacher...xD Anyway, I hope you all liked it, and once again, please feel free to leave suggestions in either PMs or reviews. Also, the person Regina's remembering is possible Ethan. Nobody forgot him, right? xD Next chapter'll be a lot better, I promise. R&R if possible, and thanks for reading!

Have a great time on fanfiction! (Read to your heart's content! ;D)


	7. Chapter 6: The Lonely White

A/N: Hello everyone, and welcome back _finally _to my Wonderland story! I apologize for not updating for so long, school has kept me busy. x_x I managed to squeeze in some time, though, so I've completed this chapter, and will update my Pierce story when I get the chance! Okay, just to clear things up: why Regina doesn't really remember those 'people' and 'Ethan' much is because of Nightmare's power. Like in parts of the game and in the manga, he uses it on Alice to make her forget her sister(or at least, that's how it goes...xD). Also, sorry if any of our favorite canon characters are OOC, I tried my best to make this kind of fluffy and good. Regina's character might be a bit too smiley, but it just fits in, so again, sorry if she's mary-sue. Point it out if you see any of that. Anyway, I hope you'll all like this, and here we go! ;D (The title of the chapter might be a bit strange, but again, it just fits!)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

**_**Enjoy!~**_**

* * *

><p><strong>The Person I Was <strong>

**Chapter Six: The Lonely White **

"Whatcha thinking about?" Boris asked as we strolled through the clearing, making our way slowly back to the Hatter Mansion. The fireworks show was spectacular, but I insisted on going back to the mansion, since I was sure they'd be wondering where I went. I was supposed to be in bed, afterall. "Looks like something's bothering you…"

"You can tell?" I bet it was cat instincts.

Boris smiled. "Of course, your eyebrows are furrowed." I was completely wrong, darn...

I halted, and reached a hand up to my eyebrows, and sure enough, they were knitted together. How come I hadn't noticed? "Well…I just…remembered someone," I said, curling a finger around a stray lock of hair as we started walking again.

"Who?"

"I don't know, but this person was also with a lot of other people," I answered, and this time, I felt my eyebrows meet. I tilted my head to look at the sky, which was dyed a midnight purple, bright stars lingering overhead. "I think I know all of them, but I just can't remember…"

"I see…oh!" Boris pointed ahead, and grinned widely. "We're here!"

The mansion was in clear sight, and my lips curved up. I'd have to apologize for leaving all of a sudden, but at least I got here. "Thank you so much, Boris. You're so nice," I said, turning to Boris, who looked slightly stunned.

"I-it was nothing…" he rubbed the back of his head, his ears twitching. The wind was blowing, a chill casting over us. Out of some impulse, I extended my hands, and touched his ears gently, feeling them stiffen from the contact. I quickly retracted my hands, and placed them by my sides, letting them hang.

"Oh, sorry…they just looked cold." And soft, I wanted to add. A trail of shivers crept up my spine when the wind blew against my skin as if on cue.

Boris suddenly burst into a fit of cat-like chuckles, pushing part of the back of his hand onto his mouth. "Heh, you're always so cute, Regina," he said between a light laugh.

"Always? But I've only met you some time ago," I stated, raising a confused eyebrow at him. He stopped laughing, and froze. "Boris, what do you mean?"

"F-forget what I just said. It was nothing important," he replied rather quickly, looking off to the side. I scrunched my face up a bit; Nightmare did the same thing Boris just did when I went to the Dream World, and I didn't like it one bit. It was as if they had just said something forbidden. "Well, I'll be taking my leave. The mansion's over there, so you can head over, and I hope you'll visit the Amusement Park when you have time!" he exclaimed, and swiftly dashed away, leaving me to hold back my surprised reaction.

"Boris…" I frowned, staring at the place he used to be. I turned my gaze to my hands. The warmth of Boris' ears was still there, despite the piercing cold building up. I sighed, rubbing my arms. "I guess I'll go now."

I slowly turned, taking one last look at the clearing, before walking off to the mansion surrounded by trees, keeping my sky blue eyes downcast. In my mind, out of no huge intention, I started listing the things I liked about Wonderland, and of how there were many people I still hadn't met. "Oh, that's right!" I patted the sides of my dress, and when I finally found the small pocket in the back, I pulled out the potion of hearts bottle.

Transparent liquid swished around, only a small amount inside. Nightmare had told me to meet everyone in Wonderland, experience new feelings, and fill the bottle. Then I could choose to stay here, or go back to my world. I was to play this game, and could not leave; that was all the information he gave me, no matter my prying. My mouth became a straight line as I stepped before the black gates of the mansion, still staring at the bottle. I thought this was all a dream, but a dream wouldn't be this long, and it was just too real. Alice was here too, and all these strange images of people kept popping in and out of my brain.

I shook my head, dismissing all these different thoughts. Tears prickled my eyes as I remembered Alice's favor. I could never replace her; she was already imbedded in their hearts, as far as I could tell. I gasped suddenly, realization hitting me like a hard rock. "If Alice doesn't have a heart, does that mean she chose to stay here? But why isn't she with them?" I asked myself, pushing the potion of hearts back into the small pocket. "Maybe she wants to be with them, but she…can't?" I gripped the area where my own heart was, closing my eyes.

Could you give someone else your heart, I wonder…? _Literally_.

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><p>"Nobody's here…" I murmured, pacing down the halls of the huge mansion. Did they go out or something? "And here I was ready to—"<p>

"_Regina~_" a voice chimed, and I felt something cling to me from behind. I stiffened considerably, and then started to tremble until I eventually fell from the weight. I'd been falling a lot recently...

"P-please get off me, w-whoever you are…" I stuttered, trying to hold myself up. The weight disappeared, and I found myself back on my feet, strong, warm arms around my waist.

"Oh, Regina, it took me forever to find you! I can't believe you'd be in a place like this!" the voice exclaimed, and when I listened harder, I recognized the owner easily. It was that white-haired rabbit man who brought me to Wonderland!

"You! You're the person who took me here!" I voiced my thoughts, and the warmth around my waist faded as he released me. I whipped around to fully gaze at him, and my eyes widened when he backed up and shook slightly.

"I'm sorry…" he said, his expression of mixed sadness, worry, and shock.

At that moment, I felt terrible for yelling, but in fact, I was going to thank him. He let me escape the hospital, even for a short while, and… I couldn't find the words to express my gratitude of having the ability to walk again. Before, when I thought this all to be a 'dream', I didn't take it into much consideration, but now, this bubbly feeling was able to come forth. I was truly thankful. "Thank you," I simply said, laughing softly.

"Eh?"

"Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for giving me this freedom. Thank you…thank you…" I trailed off, repeating my thanks as the tears from way back started reforming. Tiny hiccups started erupting from my throat in a recessive pattern, and I wiped my tears away. I haven't cried like this for so long, a choking feeling began building up in my chest. The only time I cried like this was when I finally realized Ethan would never return. I knew this was too big of a reaction, but I really felt grateful towards this person, even though I barely knew him. I wonder what Alice felt…

"…why?" the rabbit man asked quietly, making me look at him confused. "Why are you crying?"

My hiccups subsided, and I hurriedly wiped the remaining salt drops away, a smile creeping up. "These aren't sad tears. I'm just really happy."

The man stood there, gazing intently at me. "By the way, what's your name? When I woke up from falling down the hole, I didn't meet you properly. Oh, did I thank you? I'm just so grateful…" I rambled, gripping the hem of my dress. I wrinkled it, but that didn't matter much. I felt kind of nervous after crying, seeing as all he was doing was standing there.

After a few moments, he spoke up, a softer, happier look on his handsome face. From behind his glasses, his blood red eyes shimmered, revealing an emotion I couldn't decipher. "Peter. Peter White," he said, and in view, his cheeks became a light shade of pink.

"What a nice name, and it matches you, besides the corniness," I laughed, and he took a step forward, standing before me straight again.

"Thank you. Wait…" he stared hard at something below, and when I followed his intense gaze, it landed on my bandaged legs. I almost forgot about them. "How did you obtain those?"

"Oh, these? Well, it isn't that big, I was just playing with the twins, and—"

"Regina, please come with me to the Castle of Hearts," Peter interrupted my explanation, a stern expression planted firm. "You won't get hurt there. Damn those bloody twins…I should kill them…"

"No!" I exclaimed, making Peter jump up slightly. "No killing. Please." I coughed a bit, gazing into Peter's eyes. He was taller than me, much to my slight displeasure. "I probably should stay here, though, in case they all come back soon." Though, maybe I could learn a thing or two more about why Alice left...

"It's okay, just come with me," he insisted, and even took my hand and squeezed it. Normally, a gesture such as this one wouldn't make me interject with a thought from out of the blue, but this… I turned my head to him, meeting red eyes that were easy to read like an open book, unlike before. Hurt, sadness…and loneliness?

"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt, and I might be able to meet the Queen of Hearts," I said, feeling bad inside, but smiling to cheer him up. Peter wasn't matched with sadness, he seemed so cheery, and it hurt me to see him like this. Wonderland sure had an effect on me…

"Great!" His face brightened, and he released my hand. I kind of missed the heat, but shook off the thought as Peter continued. "Wait, how do you know the Queen?"

I blinked, and giggled. "I just assumed that this Wonderland was somehow like the one in _Alice in Wonderland_, with all the characters."

Peter's eyes widened and his face held blankness. I almost gasped had it not been the situation; I'd said her name. Of all the things I could've said, I had to include Alice's name.

Unlike the others, though, Peter seemed to just brush it off after a while, and reverted back to being excited. "Okay, I'll take you right now! I can't wait~"

He pulled me along by my arm very loosely, as though if he applied any pressure, I'd get hurt, or even worse, disappear. I wonder why... We walked quickly for some time, until we reached the big door leading outside. Then a question popped up. "Peter, I'm sorry to ask, but how did you get in? I remember locking the door when I entered, just to be safe…"

"Why, through the window, of course!" he grinned, and I stared at him skeptically. Through a _window_? Wow…

As Peter was about to open the door, it flung open, and a gush of warm wind came blowing in. I'd just realized the time of day had changed again, but that thought quickly faded as four figures came in; and I recognized almost immediately.

"Blood, Elliot, Dee, Dum, you're back!" I exclaimed, ecstasy lacing my words. However, that moment of joy was overwhelmed when a heavy tension hit the air instantly. I glanced between the two parties: Peter and me, and the Hatter Family. A quick realization rooted in my brain, and I wanted to hit myself for not accepting Peter's offer more quickly.

How could I forget that they were enemies?

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><p>End AN: Well, looks like a small cliffhanger! (I can't tell, haha...) Sorry if it's short, didn't have _that _much time... T_T Again, I tried to make it good, so I hope you like it. Reviews are awesome, and for any suggestions, a cookie. (Since when did I resort to cookies?) Next chapter'll be better, and until then, bye!

Happy reading!


	8. Chapter 7: The Whispers

A/N: Hello again, everyone, and welcome back to another chapter of The Person I Was! Aw, if you read this chapter, you might get just a tad bit sentimental for Regina at the end. x_x I'm challenging myself with a review goal, but I'm keeping it a secret, so I hope you'll comment to help me reach it! (It isn't really high...xD) I've got nothing much to say this time, and I'm not going to explain much unless you guys really need it or ask. I want to see if you guys can figure out all the little kinks to this story, and how it's going to go! Oh yeah, also, it's...*drum roll~*...about time to choose a pairing! HAHAHAHA! I want you all to either PM me or review to decide what pairing is wanted, since I don't really want to put up a poll sorry. Remember, at least try! xD Okay, with that said, here we go. ;D

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

**_**~Enjoy!~**_**

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><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Chapter Seven: The Whispers**

"Er…" I crinkled my eyebrows together, my lips a straight line. The astrict tension in the air was thick, and as my thoughts became even more jumbled up, I felt like gagging at the lack of air I noticed I was holding in. A stagnant silence hung over our heads and I shifted my eyes to the floor, suddenly finding my sandals very interesting. Was this enemy thing really that deep? Nightmare had told me about it, but I didn't actually believe him. The unbearable, brief instant ceased, however, the moment someone near me quietly sighed, the staring (or should I say glaring) contest finally over.

"Hatter," I heard Peter say, and when I snapped my head up, he had a blank expression on his face. His gaze was locked with Blood's own emerald stare, and if I didn't know any better, I could've sworn I saw a flash of understanding within each individual's irises. I wonder why… I stared at them strangely, taking in the situation. Maybe Nightmare was wrong…?

"White," Blood replied after a minute of quiet, and adjusted his intricately decorated hat. I felt a tiny gust of humid air hit my face, my legs moving on their own, and before I knew it, I was outside the Hatter's mansion, heading to the gate with Peter.

I blinked, and stopped walking, gaping at Peter. "What just happened?"

He stopped as well, and whirled around to smile at me giddily halfway. "We just came out of the mansion, of course."

I scrunched my face up a bit, my eyelids drooping with skepticism evident. "I know that, but what just happened there with Blood and you? And why were the others so quiet?" I questioned, clearly disbelieving. I mean, the twins would've at least said something, and especially Elliot; what exactly was going on?

"A _friendly _meeting of eyes, that's all. The others stood still, they had no need to drawl," Peter rhymed, his beat slightly off and the same happy smile still plastered to his face. I didn't like how he put a small emphasis on the word 'friendly', much less the fact that he was answering with no seriousness at all.

After giving him a few looks, I sighed, finally giving in to his utter oblivious state of my feelings. "Well, at least I got an answer. Are we going to the castle now?"

"Yep~" he chimed, and took my hand again, like before, and pulled me along. The force was so light, it felt like he wasn't even gripping my hand; it was as if he was afraid of hurting me. He did the same act earlier. I unconsciously squeezed his white gloved hand as we arrived at the front of the mansion's tall black gates, ready to depart. Peter's fluffy ears twitched, and he tilted his head to the side, shooting me an inquiring look. 'Is something wrong?' it seemed to say, and in return, I smiled softly, bobbing my head when the breeze hit my face.

Peter's eyes widened a tad bit, and when we slipped through the gate, I closed my own eyes, listening intently to nature. Weak whispers that soon grew stronger rustled through my hair, and cast an invisible veil of sound over my ears. _Don't forget_, they blew, _don't forget_. Then they morphed, their message different. _Hurry and forget, hurry and forget. Rush, rush, rush…_

"Is everything alright? You're awfully quiet." Peter's voice broke me out of my trance, and I opened my eyes, bright colors filling my vision. The whispers were gone, the wind tracing over their forgotten trail.

"Oh, everything's fine. I was just thinking," I answered, finally noting the missing warmth in my right hand. Peter was using both his hands to swat away stray leaves and branches in our way, looking rather busy with his irritated face. He had let go of my hand, I deducted dumbly.

I giggled unexpectedly, feeling bubbly inside. He looked cute, trying to keep away from them, just like the first time I'd met him. Though he was brushing away grass in his rabbit form at that time; that was some amazing transformation trick. I wonder if Boris could do that, or Elliot… "What's so funny?" he asked, annoyance present.

"You just look so cute," I voiced my thoughts, and made a surprised sound at my action. Almost on cue, Peter turned a flowery shade of pink, and his ears were wiggling a little. He turned his head away from me, going back to getting rid of any natural obstacle. From a side view, I could see he was trying to hide his embarrassment, but…was that I smile I just saw?

"I-I see. Anyway, we're almost at the castle, so before the next time period arrives, we shall be there."

"Okay." I exhaled, and afterwards, breathed in the fresh air of the forest, filling my lungs happily. After being in Wonderland for about three days, perhaps, I'd changed in a way I couldn't describe. I felt more cheerful and free, and without realizing it, I'd become more enthusiastic about living. In the hospital, I always wished for the day when I could just doze off, and delve into my vivid dreams. I even wished I could sleep forever, to rest for eternity.

But now, I felt different; I wanted to live, and for a fact, I never wanted to go back to my world. Yet...what was this clicking feeling?

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><p>The echoes of my footfalls bounced off the pretty walls of the castle's enormous halls. Similarly to how I lost Ace long before, I'd lost Peter not long after I stupidly tripped over a bush I surprisingly didn't notice; and it was <em>right <em>there! How many things was I going to not notice? I groaned, remembering the stinging bruise I accumulated on my left wrist when I toppled over. I tucked it under my other arm, near the elbow, holding it still to block out the throbbing pain. Peter had been just a bit farther ahead of me at the time, and sadly, hadn't heard my fall, walking off when I recovered.

"Great, now I'm lost in a _castle_," I mumbled to myself, stomping down the hall I was currently in (wherever that was) with steam probably blowing out of my ears. I'd been walking for some time, through the castle, trying to find my rabbit-eared friend earnestly. Earlier, I'd seen a few faceless butlers and maids, but when I tried to approach them, they shot me odd looks, and raced off, leaving me to find my own way around. "Unfriendly people, I say…" I pursed my lips as I reared a corner, and gasped at what was before me when I got around.

"Ah ha!" I announced, and jogged up to the _huge _heart-shaped doors before me, grinning widely. "At last, I've found some kind of entry or exit!" I carefully slipped my left arm out, and extended my right arm in turn, reaching for one of the doors. I pushed it open easily, and heard the creaking follow as I hurriedly scrambled in, still grinning. When the door shut, I leaned against it, and breathed. "Yes, I'm—" I was cut off by my eyes trailing up to a beautiful woman sitting alone upon a gold and red throne shaped like a heart, as everything else was, practically. "…in?"

Her previous pose of leaning into one of her slender arms shifted, and now, she stood up from her seat, eyes piercing me. "And who are you, may we ask?" 'We'? So she was…the queen?

"I, uh…" I stared up at her, and examined her features. She was truly captivating, beauty-wise, with her hair styled in royal purple curls. She wore a stunning dress with its own intricacy, dimming purples, blacks, and bright reds tracing and making up it. It was designed with hearts too, for the part near the neck was a big red heart shielding the back of her head. The queen wore a gold and red crown matching her attire, with a scepter of the same shades as well. "I-I was looking for Peter…" I trailed off, feeling intimidated by her gaze. She was surely more beautiful than any woman I'd ever seen, besides Alice, but her aura was also more terrifying that any person I knew could conjure up.

When I locked my sky blue gaze to her magenta one, I saw her stiffen for a moment, her eyes widening in the slightest. She looked somewhat hurt, as if my words about looking for Peter stung her heart; but I felt that wasn't exactly the case. Moments passed, and she reverted back to normal, her posture as proud and straight as before. "We see, so you must be the new foreigner that the insolent white rabbit was talking about," she responded finally, her voice laced with something I pin-pointed as annoyance. Did she not like Peter? "We also believe that moronic knight has also mentioned you, when he _finally _returned to the castle." Oh, she must've been talking about Ace now.

"Yes, well, I'm the new foreigner, I guess," I laughed shakily, rubbing the back of my head. I was still leaning on the door, and was edging to dash out now. I knew I couldn't just run away, however, so I stayed put, awaiting the next events. "My name is Regina Uehara, you highness." I attempted a small curtsy, as I saw my ordeal, but failed with a stumble.

A chuckle sounded through the room, and I heard the echo of heels click against the marble floor. I watched as Vivaldi stopped when she reached the bottom of the carpeted stairs that led up to her throne, and motioned for me to come forward. I did, rather cautious as I walked toward her, my sandals making next to no sound on the floor.

"There is no need to address us that way. Please, call us Vivaldi," she said when I was just about two feet away from her. So her name was Vivaldi…

"It's nice to meet you, Vivaldi," I responded, smiling. I felt a lot better actually near her than far away where I heard her booming voice. I stuck out my able hand, waiting for a handshake; I didn't exactly get one, though.

Vivaldi stared at my hand, as if in thought. I blinked, and stared at her with knitted eyebrows. "Aren't you going to shake it?" I asked.

She looked at me this time. "Why would we do that?"

"Well…" I thought for a moment, contemplating my answer. "You usually shake hands with a person you've just met, or so I'm told."

Vivaldi stared at my hand again, and slowly, reached out her hand and took it. I shook it, and she copied the action. A smile slowly found its way onto my face, and I beamed at her when we released. "It's nice to make a friend or two once in a while," I stated, gazing into her eyes.

She shifted her amethyst-colored eyes to her hand, and smiled softly. "Yes, it is nice, we see." I watched her expression soften immensely, the difference from her previous one present. The strange thing was, though, that she looked somehow regretful, eyes flashing remnants of past remorse. Something clicked in my mind, and I narrowed my eyes.

Those eyes…those looks…those small, yet meaningful actions that the people of Wonderland portrayed, were all similar. This made me want to look into the Alice case more and more… The thought made me grimace somehow, though. In a way, I was affected by all of this too, and just wondered, _why would they bring in another foreigner when there's the chance that they might leave, as well_?

My eyes expanded, and for a moment, my heart scrunched up, a jolt piercing through me. Vivaldi hadn't noticed my strange behavior as of now, as she still examined her hand, or rather, her memories; probably of Alice…

Another pang of internal pain, and images flashed before my eyes, recollections of the past.

_There was a young boy and a girl who looked so similar; it was hard to actually tell them apart, even with gender. They were fraternal twins, two counterparts always together._

I keeled over, bending down and cramping up into a ball. My hands were gripping either side of my pounding head. What was happening? I felt unwanted tears brimming in my eyes as the racket in my brain continued. That boy and girl looked so familiar…

_Being raised in a prestigious family, they were taught numerous things. However, the girl didn't like it at all, and wished everyday she could be whisked away to another place, where she could be her, and no one else. Her brother, the boy, wanted that as well, and soon, they created stories of a land where everyone loved them; a place where they could be whatever they desired._

"Stop…stop!" I cried, gripping my head tighter as I shook it. I could hear Vivaldi's voice, but I didn't respond to it. I couldn't hear what she was saying. This felt so familiar, but why was I overwhelmed with these feelings? The images were played with a voice I felt I knew, but couldn't grasp.

_And one day, their wish came true; but it wasn't what they expected. They fell down a dark hole in the middle of their garden, and appeared in Wonderland, the land of their dreams. But there was a catch._

I was afraid of hearing the rest, but I didn't know why.

"_You must play a game," a person of Wonderland had told them, and they agreed, not knowing anything about it. They met many colorful characters, and slowly, fell in love with the inhabitants and the world overtime. Yet, they lost the game._

"Regina, snap out of it this instance!" Vivaldi's voice finally reached me, but I didn't look up at her.

"I can't make it stop…" I whispered, barely audible. The game…

_But with the intent of keeping his sister's dreams alive, the boy bargained with the game. "If I were to sacrifice my life, would that do?" And with that, the boy had left for his world, to keep his bargain, and left the girl to live in Wonderland possibly forever._

No…no…

_She had other plans, though. The girl, after saying her goodbyes to her beloved Wonderland, left, abandoning the game her brother had prolonged for her. But when she returned…_

I stopped my sorrowful wallowing, and suddenly rolled out of my cramped ball position, warm, salty tears still coursing down my puffy cheeks. Vivaldi was shaking me, but I didn't pay any mind to it. I couldn't.

…_she had forgotten everything about Wonderland…_

…_forgotten the people who brought her away from misery…_

I already knew the end.

…_and she had, most importantly, lost her dear, dear brother._

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><p>End AN: Wow...I finished. xD It was kind of...sad, actually. o_o Even in my opinion...of my own story. I never thought I'd finish the chapter up like this. Anyway, thanks to all those who reviewed, and especially darkdoll25, who's stuck with me for every chapter! I'll be trying to update as much as possible after homework, so for now, stay tuned for the next turn of events! They'll be real interesting, trust me. Till then, ta-ta!

Review if you can, and happy reading!~


	9. Chapter 8: The Beat of a Tick

A/N: Hi everyone and welcome back to my story! xD Wow, I haven't updated for some time, must've kept you all waiting! D: Sorry about that, school is awesome, but it just pulls away my time. Anyway, I just wanted to start off with explaining the beginning of the chapter: it's a dream sequence, so I apologize if you get confused. Okay, well, not much to say, just thanks to all who reviewed, and I hope you like the chapter! xD

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**Enjoy!~**_

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><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Chapter Eight: The Beat of a Tick**

_The sound of gurgling pulls a curtain of echoes over my ears, and my body sways strangely. It's as if I'm floating, and wherever I am, I have no destination. When I open my eyes, my vision is blurred with deep hues of blue, and I can feel the blood pounding through my head. _

_This is not the Dream World. And it's not nowhere either._

_Where am I?_

_I can't speak, and when I exhale and inhale, shimmering bubbles replace my breath. Then I realize something: I am floating within a body of water. An ocean of brilliance. _

_But why can I breathe so well? I should be suffocating to the core._

_As the haze clears, I see underwater life flutter about, drifting through the water, and for a moment, I wish to join them. It was a simple desire to swim with them, to be with someone, at least. I listen closely to the noises of the ocean, and they lull me deep inside._

_And then I hear another sound; a soft, delicate note that blows me away. Within that one noise was a symphony of music, and I immediately yearned to find the source. _

_But I do not expect to see another person._

_Or rather, a mermaid. _

_Before I can react, the beautiful creature is floating with the water towards me, and I cannot move. When I get a better look, I see her hair is a blazing green color, and her eyes a penetrating violet. Pearls and rubies adorn her frame, and her long hair covers any revealing parts like clothes. Her tail is a deep navy blue, just like the ocean we dwell in. There is no other word to describe her but magnificent._

_She watches me with a glowing complexion when she stops before me, and for some reason, tilts her head with a soft smile. I do not understand her action._

_Slowly, she brings a slender hand to my face, and traces a finger over the side of my face, but I can barely feel the contact. It is as if I am numbing slowly._

_She speaks, but I cannot hear her, and only see bubbles. Wasn't she the one who produced the beautiful sound earlier? Her eyes cast a sad glow, and all I want to do is wipe that look away. Why is that?_

_And then darkness dims the ocean, and the sea life scatter away. The mermaid holds my gaze for a few moments before pulling away to leave. I cannot reach out to bring her back, and am unable to utter anything. I am left alone, and with that, the darkness envelopes my immobility. There is a thumping in my chest, and I feel the need to close my eyes again._

_I do not understand this at all._

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><p>My eyelids snapped open, and I blinked in awe. I didn't wake up startled or anything, but with a sensation of emptiness; I felt like I was missing something, as if a part of me had disappeared within that ocean. That dream seemed so real…<p>

When I sat up, I found myself in a huge bed decorated with red hearts, and remembered the shocking pain I experienced earlier. I must've fainted from that. And then something clicked in my brain, and I gripped the front of whatever top I was wearing.

"Ethan…Ethan…" I whispered, but surprisingly, no tears spilled over like usual. This was strange… I reached a hand up to my face, and lightly touched my cheeks. They were as dry as the soft sheets that covered the lower half of my still body.

I slipped through the blankets after I snapped out of my small stupor, and stood barefoot. The room was fairly cozy and warm, and I finally looked at what I was wearing; a red dress with white ribbons here and there, and sturdy straps that wrapped around my shoulders. Hearts adorned the sides, and I felt snug in the clothes overall.

I paced barefoot over to the drawn violet curtains in the room, and pulled them apart, revealing a brilliant blue sky puffed with cotton clouds. My mouth was hanging; either the time hadn't changed at all, or I slept for a _very _long time. But this was no time to be realizing now; I had to find out the truth, about what happened in Wonderland, about what happened to Alice, and most importantly, what happened to Ethan. To my advantage, the roleholders who I'd met and the ones who I still hadn't met didn't have a clue I knew about all this. Before, it was as if they wanted to keep it from me, to make me forget. I wonder why…

I shook my head rapidly, and started for the shiny door. I'd think about all that later, but for now, I was going to head to the Clock Tower. I heard Elliot and Blood talking about someone named Julius, and how they despised him. He lived in the Clock Tower, in the Clover section of Wonderland, and seemed to have an important job. I was going to seek him out, and find out as much as I could.

As I slipped out the door stealthily, I was contemplating if this was such a good idea or not. I mean, I had already left the Hatter's Mansion after I fainted without any warning, and now I was leaving the hospitality of Vivaldi. I'd also lost Peter… After a few moments of pausing, I decided to go with my plan; I'd return later, after all. I dashed down the castle corridors, my feet pounding soundlessly on the red carpet and marble floor. I didn't care for the stares of the few passing servants, I kept going.

But deep down, I wished I didn't listen to myself for once.

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><p>"Now that I think about it…" I said to myself, my eye twitching. "I don't know which direction the Clock Tower is…" Cue the blowing the wind and sad face-palm. I'm lost; and to make it twice, again!<p>

I groaned, scrunching my face up as I leaned on a nearby tree. I was stuck in a huge forest, and had no sense of direction. What a day…

"And to add to my misfortune, my feet hurt…" I sighed, lifting a leg to inspect my foot. It was dirtied by smudges of dirt, and there were a few scraps of fallen leaves attached to it. I shook them off, and narrowed my eyes. My dress was also a bit dirty, with small, brown marks across the hem.

While I was busy cursing my luck, a rustle sounded from the trees and shrubbery before me, and when I snapped my head up, my irritated expression shifted. Standing before me with a confused look was Ace, scratching his hair full of twigs and leaves.

"Whoa! Regina!" Ace exclaimed, gaping at me. "Where'd you come from?"

I blinked, and rubbed my eyes in an attempt to rid of the hallucination in front of me; it didn't work, though, and immediately I smiled. "Ace!" I ran over to him and hugged him out of sheer happiness.

Ace froze up, but eased into the hug, and eventually we pulled away, and I gazed up into his red eyes. There was that distant look again…his bloody red eyes glistened with an emotion I could not figure out. Why? However, soon he broke out into a wide grin, and beamed at me. "Ha, it's nice to see you again too! Say, are you lost as well?" He started plucking out bits and pieces of the twigs and leaves from his hair, ruffling it in the process.

I fell out of my hypnotic daze, and grimaced at the word 'lost'. "Ah, so we're in the same predicament...well, I'm heading to the Clock Tower, how about you?"

"I'm heading there too!" Ace seemed excited about the dire situation, and continued. "Want to travel with me? I think I got a pretty good sense of where it is."

I gulped, and laughed nervously. Where did I hear that before…? Oh right, when I lost him at the Hatter's Mansion. "Well, I'd be happy to travel with you. But maybe…oh, nevermind, lead the way." I smiled, giving up on my lead. I had an even worse sense of direction than Ace did.

"Then we're off, my lady!" he declared, and started walking off in an unknown direction, me in tow. I exhaled slowly, walking beside Ace in a steady pace, and suddenly winced in pain.

"Ouch!" I cried, and fell back, only to land in a pair of strong arms. I gazed up and saw Ace, a surprised look on his lowered face.

"Regina, are you alright?" he asked, and pulled me over to a fallen log to sit.

"I think I stepped on something sharp," I replied, and when I placed both feet on the ground again, pain traveled up my right leg.

"Oh, you're barefoot." He kneeled down before me, and held my right leg up, revealing a thin needle embedded into my right foot. "Looks like a long splinter…this will hurt for only a second, 'kay?"

I nodded slightly, and he pulled the stinging stimulus out, and I winced again, but instantly the aching pain faded, replaced by a sigh of relief. I breathed, and smiled softly at Ace. "Thank you, Ace."

"No problem, damsel in distress."

I felt a fair amount of heat travel to my cheeks, and pursed my lips at him. I read about those in fairytales, and didn't like them one bit. "I am not a damsel in distress." I got up, and we continued to walk again. I was glancing occasionally at the ground to make sure I didn't step on anything again.

"Right, right, and I'm not a knight of the Castle of Hearts." Ace grinned, and started whistling, while I partially glared at him with a small smile.

"Idiot…"

"I heard that, _damsel_~"

After a few more moments of bickering, we were laughing, the sounds of joy bouncing off into the deep forest. I began to wonder why I was laughing so much, but I guess a few time periods in Wonderland had worn me out, and I need a good cheering up. Ace and I walked further, and I couldn't help but watch the merry man beside me out of the corner of my eyes. Thoughts flew here and there about him, and I was once again lost within my own delusions as we trudged through the canopy of trees. I spared another sideways glance at Ace, and found him staring off into the distance, a faraway look in his beautiful eyes.

I wonder if he ever gets lost inside his thoughts too.

* * *

><p>"Ace…where <em>did <em>you get that tent?" I asked my fellow traveling partner, who seemed to be as chipper as ever when I was sweating bullets. We were in the middle of nowhere (I've been to nowhere with Alice, but now, technically we were stranded), and time just had to shift to night. In addition to these oddities, Ace pulled out a small, cozy-looking green tent from out of thin air, leaving me too baffled to say much, besides a question. I watched him work happily, and smiled softly despite my surprise. I had almost forgotten why I was in a forest in the first place, but reminded myself that I was aiming to get to the Clock Tower

"From my pockets, of course. Where else?" the cheery knight stated, finishing up his handiwork. "Done!"

"Okay, well, that explains a lot…and how do you even fit that kind of thing in there…?" I mumbled inaudibly to myself, and watched as Ace wiped invisible sweat off his forehead and unzipped the entrance.

"We'll be staying here for tonight, I guess. Sorry about that," Ace said, turning to apologize to me. He held one flap of the tent carefully, making sure there was considerable space to squeeze in. "Go inside, I'll pull out some other things."

I nodded, and slipped through, feeling the material brush against me. To my awe, the tent was much bigger than it looked from outside. The ground was displayed as a red, fuzzy carpet, and the walls were of a normal tent. It actually looked quite livable, and comfortable at that. "Wow…"

"Like it? I got it a while ago. First time to use this new one," Ace stated, coming inside as well carrying two bright lanterns of different colors. He zipped up the entrance securely, and started hanging up the smaller gold lantern onto the ceiling, where an orange hook was hanging. After that, he placed the bigger orange lantern in the middle of the tent, and we both took a seat across from each other. "The orange lantern's for warmth, and the one above is for light, of course."

I smiled, and got into a relaxed, folded position on the carpet. "I would've never expected you to be carrying such nice delights."

He laughed heartily, and scooted to my side a little. "The only downside is I didn't bring any blankets, only one pillow."

"Oh, well, then you can use it. The carpet seems comfy enough," I offered, and laid down, closing my eyes. I heard movement, and when I reopened my eyes, I found Ace sitting next to me, a big smile on his face. "Is something the matter?"

"Well, you're awfully calm in this situation."

"What situation?" I questioned, turning my head to look at him. He chuckled softly, smiling still.

"You're alone in a tent with a guy, in the middle of a forest."

"Ah…" I raised my head to the ceiling, his words sinking in. A memory of Ethan and me camping together under the stars flashed before my eyes for an instant, and I joined Ace in smiling. "And?"

Ace blinked, and tilted his head to the side. "You don't mind?"

I giggled, lying flat on my back, hands and arms tucked under my head. "Now why would I mind? This is actually pretty exciting, if you think about it a lot. I mean, camping in the forest with someone you trust."

"Trust?"

"I trust you." Were my words really that hard to contemplate?

For a moment, Ace was quiet, and then he made the motion of slipping off his red heart coat effortlessly, tossing it on the carpet floor. And suddenly, I found Ace towering over me, still in a casual sitting position, eyes staring into mine. "…Regina, I love you," he said, lips curved into a softer form of happiness.

He leaned down, and the memory of him giving me the potion of hearts entered my mind. Ace had closed his eyes, and was inching closer to my face, when I stopped him. "No you don't."

He immediately paused, reopening his eyes, and I continued. "You don't love me."

"But I do love you."

I shook my head, and lifted my body up to match him. "You might like me, as I do you, but you don't love me." I took his gloved hand, and held it within both of mine. It was warm, and a nice feeling bubbled within me. "Love is a complex thing, and it takes time to form. You wouldn't love me," I placed his hand on my chest, where my heart was, "because you have someone else in mind, don't you?"

Suddenly, Ace wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my chest as he squeezed. Ace had pulled his hand away just in time, and I didn't move after. My heart was pounding quickly, yet it calmed down once I felt the vibration of Ace's voice against my body. "But she is not here any longer."

The smile that had been plastered to my face subsided, and I placed both arms on Ace's back. I knew this was all about Alice. I didn't bring her name up, though. "She will definitely return one day. You know, I lost someone important to me, but unlike this person, your loved one will come back."

Silence filled the still air, a comfortable veil hanging upon our presences, but within a few moments, that quiet was broken with a loud ticking. _Tick, tock, tick, tock_… I peered down at Ace, and saw a content smile on his face. Nightmare had told me that the people in Wonderland did not have hearts, clocks replacing their very existence. Was this ticking coming from Ace's clock? It must've been peaceful enough to hear. "…your heartbeat is soothing," Ace mumbled, exhaling deeply as he buried in my chest more. I would've been extremely embarrassed by then, but given the situation, it would ruin everything.

I laughed softly, staying in my flat pose. "That's the first time anyone's ever commented me like that. But you know…" I started, staring into Ace's stunning red eyes, once more captured by their brilliant shade and glow, "the ticking of a clock is no different than the beating of a heart. They both represent time, for clocks tell time, and the heart stops when the time life ends arrives."

After stating my perspective, my eyelids were fluttering down wearily, and I felt drowsy. Blurriness covered bits of my vision, and the expression Ace wore was becoming hard to see. Was he confused? Was he happy, smiling even? I kept my eyes open for a fair amount of time, and was stunned to stare into blearing scarlet irises. Ace was…crying. Why? He was supposed to be fine, yet…he was in tears. Perhaps I was dreaming already. But before I could do anything, my conscious faded, and sleep engulfed my mind, lulling it away. The last thoughts of the day circled above, and I was swimming through to a new dream. My words about beating and ticking were true, but I didn't believe myself…

…Because if the beating of a heart represented the end of life, then my heart should've stopped long ago.

* * *

><p>End AN: Haha, finally done! xD I did this pretty late while doing homework, so if I got ANY mistakes whatsoever, help me out to point 'em out. I hope you liked it, and I'll try updating soon(don't I always say this? xD)! Thanks for the reviews, you guys are wonderful! ;-; Well, until next chapter(Clock Tower people will DEFINITELY be in there!), I bid you farewell~

Happy reading! ;D


	10. Chapter 9: The Crackle

**_IMPORTANT TO READ THE AUTHOR NOTES! xD Beginning and end, please! They explain stuff. :P_**

A/N: REGINA! Dx Oh, hi everyone...welcome back to my story! o_o Sorry about not updating, I still got so much to do at school. T_T I haven't even updated my others stories, but I guess it's a good start with this one. I just wanted to add a thanks to those who reviewed, and especially this time to an anonymous user, _**vee**_, who took the time to review each chapter. Thank you so much! TT_TT I've been inspired so much, I wanted to update and put a special twist to this story. You might like it, or the opposite. Which ever way, I hope you enjoyed the chapter overall. I apologize too, 'cause there's another dream sequence. xD Anyway, onwards we go!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**~Enjoy!~**_

* * *

><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Chapter Nine: The Crackle**

_A faint, hollow sound crosses paths with my ears, and I blink in response. I can't see anything, being shrouded in the darkness. Where am I this time?_

_I start trembling, the feeling vibrating through my body. Cold sweeps over my thin frame, and I can't stop the continuous shaking. I'm scared out of my wits; I hate being left alone in the dark. _

_And then I hear it; a small _thump, thump _within the black abyss. Immediately, I calm down, the diminutive earthquakes within my body ceasing their course. The noise reaching my ears sounds of a heartbeat…but why is it so quiet? _

_Perhaps someone is dying._

_But there is no one besides me here. _

_Suddenly, a flash of light zips past my sight, blinding me momentarily until it passes. When my eyes adjust back, I see a remote yellow glow illuminating. _

_And before I can consider the situation, I am pulled toward the source. And I cannot believe what I see._

_A heart, a genuine beating heart without a person to pump blood to. I cannot keep my eyes open for long, and close them without hesitance. The sight of the glowing muscle is too repulsive. Why would something like this be in my dreams?_

_I peek through to get another glimpse at the macabre scene, and my eyes widen tremendously. _

_Letters are strewn above the heart, suspended in midair, spelling 'Alice'. Alice._

_Her heart._

_Her __**heart. **_

_Why?_

_Another sound reverberates, this time forming words. Someone is speaking, someone who seems to be there, yet not. _

"_**Beautiful, isn't it?"**_

_I almost gag at the eerie tone used, but even more so for the words. _

"_**But unfortunately, it is weakening. Such a shame, too."**_

_I feel liquid coursing slowly down my cheeks, and I stay frozen. _

"_**However…we have another source of light."**_

_No…no…_

_I silently beg that this 'dream' stops._

_Stop. _

_**Stop.**_

"_**You."**_

_A crack sizzles through the air, and I grasp the right side of my chest in pain._

_What just happened?_

_And with that, I feel the tug of reality hit me, and for once, feel relief spread through every inch of my body._

_But the image of that glowing, bare heart made me crack internally. And what was that sound?_

_Alice…_

* * *

><p>"…ina…Regina!"<p>

My eyes snapped open, crazily scanning the area. I was back in Ace's tent, in the same position I fell asleep in. Ace was sitting by my side, his red eyes watching me with…worry?

"Ace?" I croaked, and hear fear evident in my tone with that simple name. I was terribly scared to the point of this.

Ace looked somewhat relieved, and leaned over me a bit. I was still lying down, my back pressed stickily upon the carpet. I was sweating way too much.

"Thank god…are you alright?" he questioned, still watching me.

"I-I…"

"You had a nightmare. You were moaning and crying."

"Oh…" I touched a hand to my cheek, feeling the wet texture of salty tears there.

Ace suddenly shifted, and I felt myself being lifted up into his arms. He was still seated, and settled me into a warm embrace, stroking the back of my head. "It's alright, it was just a dream," he said, patting my back as well.

_Just _a dream?

I silently trembled, and held onto him. I was still shaken with fear, the overwhelming feeling mingling with my senses. I felt so aware, _too_ aware of everything, but with Ace here, it dimmed.

"Thank you…" I whispered, and relaxed momentarily into his strong arms.

He laughed, and finally released me after a few moments passed. We both ended up rising, and he steadied me when I almost fell. "Right now, it's afternoon. Since you seem well enough for now, perhaps we should set out when we're all packed up. How's that sound?"

I quickly nodded, and he smiled brightly, pacing over to his thrown coat. I frowned slightly, the opposite of his action. Underneath his beautiful eyes, traces of puffiness remained. So he did cry afterall… I gazed at him, his back faced to me, and watched as he slipped his coat on effortlessly. He looked so…happy, and yet, there was so much burden under those simple acts of joy.

Ace sighed, and spun around, eyes widening a bit. Then he grinned, "Oho, watching me dress, eh?"

After those words sunk in, I felt heat rise up my neck to my cheeks, leaving me flushed. "W-what!"

"Well, it's fine. It was only the coat, anyway." That cocky grin was still plastered to his face as he came to collect the pillow and lanterns. "I'm going to quickly pack up, so you can rest a bit more or _watch _me." He winked in my direction, and my soon-to-be-glare look subsided. I took up his offer of watching him, but this time, did it more secretively. My thoughts were all jumbled up, about the nightmare, about the heart, and about Ace. I grimaced as I curled up into a ball as I sat on the floor.

I hated this predicament beyond relief.

* * *

><p>"Wow…" Ace said, standing tall as we both eyed the enormous tower before us.<p>

"What's wrong? Isn't this the Clock Tower?" I inquired, surveying the area. The buildings around were decorated with numerous shapes of different colors, but the most visible were clovers; green, black, and a few other colors mixed together forming collages. The tower (or should I say _towers_) were humongous, a great deal taller than the ones at the amusement park and mansion. Pale bricks and stone made the structure up, and what looked like teeth lined the exterior and Roman numerals etched in dark paint. It was a magnificent sight, with beautiful bridges connected to each area, but while I was eyeing it with awe, Ace seemed to be struck perplexed.

"Really, is something wrong, Ace?"

He blinked, and turned to face me, a surprised look planted upon his face. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Oh no, nothing's wrong! It's just…well…I've never actually gotten to my destination without getting lost once."

It was my turn to look astonished. "Really?"

He seemed to be in a small daze as he nodded, gazing off at the Clock Tower. I'd never seen him this way in my short arrival to Wonderland… It shouldn't have been _that _surprising to get lost, right? Though Ace was the kind of person to get lost…

"Well, I guess we should head in." Ace's voice broke me from my own stupor, and I tilted my head to the side to get a better look at him. He was smiling now, and abruptly took my hand gently. We ended up almost 'skipping' into the Clock Tower's entrance, with Ace grinning and me lightly giggling. He was back to normal.

When we slipped through the gateway, Ace led me down a stony corridor until we reached a huge pair of wooden doors. "Let me kind of warn you; Julius isn't as he used to be, so he might seem a bit…odd," Ace stated, and pulled the door effortlessly to let us in. He chuckled quietly, as if reminiscing after he closed the doors securely. "In the past, Julius always made me knock first, but he never answered. Now I come as I go."

"I see…" We started pacing down a long hall with nearby rickety staircases, our footfalls echoing in the hollow sections. This place seemed so empty, as if the energy meant here had slipped away long ago.

"I'm here to finish up a job with Julius, so you might want to wait."

I turned my head to Ace, a reignited flame within my blue eyes. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Ace," I said, and his expression shifted to a dazzled state. "I've been meaning to speak to this Julius."

Ace watched me quietly, and finally smiled a bit. "Okay then, but it'll have to wait. I gotta speak to him first."

I nodded, and we proceeded down the lonesome gray halls. We reached a red staircase, climbing up with such swiftness that I was stunned we even did. I guess our goals were an important drive, though I'd never met Julius before. It seemed that Ace was a friend of the man, and before I knew it, I was itching for an answer.

"Say Ace, what kind of relationship do Julius and you have?"

Ace slowed his pace, and didn't look at me when he spoke. "I guess you can call us good friends. Out of all the other roleholders, I'm the closest to him, and I tolerate his job. Everyone seems to hate him. He's actually a pretty great guy." Again, he laughed, but this act of happiness actually hesitated within its tracks.

"His…job?"

Ace suddenly halted, a distant look in his eyes. "Yes, his job…"

I stopped too, watching as Ace locked eyes with me. "What job could he possibly have that everyone could hate him?"

Ace raised a hand, as if to speak, but stopped, placing it back to his side. "Perhaps it's better if you don't know. It would ruin your innocence, in my opinion." He began to walk again, and I tailed him, eyebrows furrowed.

Ruin my _innocence_? "It wouldn't! Please tell me, Ace." If I knew Julius' job, then I could possibly learn more."

"It would be better if he told you himself."

"Why?"

"Because I'm sure you'd understand better if he told you," Ace said, and I shut my mouth. Ace finally looked at me, but his eyes were filled with pain. We were walking fast, but I didn't notice much as I stared off into his eyes. Why were they so pained?

Silence hung over us as we trudged down the halls, and ceased our stride once again when we arrived at an ebony door with a single, worn green clover dangling from a string. The faded name 'Julius Monrey' was strewn across in fancy letters cross the clover.

"Well, we're here."

Ace reached a hand out to twist the doorknob, the gears turning under his pull. "Wait out here for a while, okay?"

"Okay."

He stepped into the room, and I felt a gust of wind hit me when he shut it. Voices behind the door were muffled, and I could only guess that it was Ace talking. His voice was so cheerful, who could miss it? This Julius must've been real quiet, because I could hear another voice, but it was so dim.

And then a loud clatter resounded behind the wooden door, and shouting followed soon after. It was unbearable. I ended up pounding on the door, shouting, "What's going on?" The door was locked; how was I supposed to get in?

Silence ensued after my feeble question, and suddenly, the door opened, revealing Ace. He was smiling softly, but then I noticed the reddening bruise upon his head. Slight panic began to fizzle inside me. "Ace, how did you get that!"

He blinked innocently, and pointed at the bruise. "Oh, this? It's nothing. Julius isn't feeling all that swell right now."

My eyebrows instantly furrowed, and I proceeded in pushing past him to get into the room. "Let me through, Ace."

An arm shot out, and I was held fast. I snapped my head up to stare at Ace. He was still smiling like a fool, but I could tell he didn't want me in there. Why? "You shouldn't go in there right now."

"Why?" I voiced my thoughts, irritation bubbling. "I need to speak to him."

"It's not the best time."

"Then I'll never solve this mystery!"

Ace's eyes widened, and in his moment of surprise, I slipped through, gliding into the room. Within the room, I froze.

It was distortion; papers here and there, whether ripped or not, scattered on the mahogany floor, furniture in disarray and glass in various places. Silver and gold gears were rolling, broken and fixed clocks displayed everywhere with tools clumped together. And in the midst of all this stood a tall man with lush dark blue hair tied back with a golden ribbon in a loose ponytail, wearing a black coat adorned with gold. He whipped around at the sound of my entrance, his midnight blue eyes locking with mine. His face spelled of days without sleep, perhaps more. This was…Julius?

But as I was so drawn to the scene before me, I didn't notice the movement of Julius; that is, until he spoke.

"…who are you?" His question floated in the air, hanging like a long forgotten sweater in a closet. He was facing me straight on now, and I could get a better look at him. He looked simply dreadful, and even his stunning eyes held a dull look.

I answered his question quietly, "Regina Uehara. I presume you're Julius Monrey?"

Now, instead of answering my question, I watched as he pulled off an exquisite clock dangling from the front of his coat, and held it firmly. It promptly changed form, morphing into a golden gun right in a blink of an eye. He held it up, tilting it in my direction.

"A gun…?" I whispered, feeling a cold wind sweep over. "Wait, don't—!"

As I stepped forward, without another second to waste, Julius fired, a crack piercing the still air. At first, I didn't think the bullet released had hit anything, but a moment passed, and I felt liquid drip out from the corner of my mouth, and slip down my chin. Was I sweating? I peered down at my body, and found the lead trinket lodged in the right side of my chest, blood blooming into a flower. No, of course not; sweat wasn't exactly 'red'.

Sounds rapidly flashed by my ears as I fell backwards, feeling the force of gravity pull me down. Or was it the weight of life and death? I couldn't care less. My mind was still trying to figure out what happened, but in the meanwhile, I watched everything unfold. I could hear shouting, footfalls, wind, and a mixture of all these other undecipherable noises around me. When I finally hit the ground, it was a muffled pain. Everything seemed to quiet, as if I was going to fall off into an abyss of silence at any moment. But did it matter? My eyelids fluttered down, and dark blotches started to cloud my vision.

Did I fail my goal? Was I never going to find Alice?

I felt myself being lifted in a pair of strong arms, but the feeling was so thin and shaky, I couldn't hold onto the warmth. It was so cold, so cold... I was slowly slipping away, and I heard words of comfort fizzle by.

"Stay…awake…awake…please…"

Who was speaking? I was begging to hear more, but I couldn't. It was so cold, this miserable feeling... A thought hit me, and at last, I fell into that dark pool of dread pulling me away.

I was going to die, wasn't I?

* * *

><p>End AN: Dun dun dun! Ah, the suspense(I think...xD)! How'd you guys like it? I think it's pretty good, considering I did this late but revised it later. Again, thanks for reviewing and reading, you give me the will to go on. Also, I have to say, I've never exactly played the games, so I don't know what each area looks like exactly, and for me, the Clock Tower was SO VERY hard. I had to watch numerous videos to get glimpses, reread the manga, and read other descriptions. It was harsh... Well, anyway, I hope I explained things well, and I'll try to update the next chapter soon(don't I always say this...?)! Until then, ta-ta!

Thanks for reviewing, and Happy reading!~


	11. Chapter 10: I'm Still Holding On, Right?

A/N: MWAHAHA! Welcome back, lovely readers, to my Wonderland story. Apologize for the strange update, again, school! xD This chapter's all Regina, with SO MANY mentions of Wonderland that I've gotten sick of the idea. I hope you guys read it, since I'm sure some people HATE OCs with a burning passion. Regina needs to be loved too, though, and I'm pretty sure you'll like this chapter. It's quite...thoughtful, if you know what I mean. Anyway, enough rambling, I'm so excited to hear what you have to say! This chapter kind of made me sad, though, since I was listening to sad songs to get into the mood...xD Good luck on deciphering everything!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**Enjoy!~**_

* * *

><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**Chapter Ten: I'm Still Holding On, Right?**

Within a blazing darkness, a lone chill passed over my still body. I coughed violently, the feeling as vague as a diminutive spring breeze. What could've caused such a disturbing sense of pain in me?

Oh. I remember now; I was shot in the chest by the person who could've helped me obtain answers. Why?

Perhaps I was simply another presence that neglected his feelings.

Julius looked so worn out and upset, it was nerve wracking.

Maybe he thought I was going to be another burden.

But Alice wasn't a burden to him, was she?

The pain in his eyes told the side of the story I never thought of.

_"She left for us; she left for me. She could've stayed, she didn't have to go. But she chose to, and I couldn't stop her."_

Oh, Julius…

What ever happened?

Promptly, a blinding light spread through the deep darkness, fogging my mind with a heated vibration. The next thing I knew, I was coughing again, my body wracked with a wretched sensation that made me want to vomit. However, this feeling disappeared abruptly, replaced by a wave of cool air. What was happening?

I felt my muscles being pulled, and my eyelids slowly fluttered up, only to be closed again after light seeped through to my irises. I suddenly snapped my eyes open, the haze instantly disappearing.

Where was I?

Was I dead?

I scanned the area, my senses returning to my fickle body. A white room, a beeping monitor, a shiny wheelchair…

This was…the hospital?

No…it couldn't be…

But it was.

My sky blue eyes watched the steady zigzag of the green monitor, the lines sending waves of clicking sounds to my ears. Unbeknownst to me, I was reaching a cold hand out to it, to pull the wire out and end what little time it showed.

_Stop it…stop beeping…_

_Why am I here…? _

_Wonderland…I should be there, dancing amongst my friends._

_I should be frolicking as the sun sets._

_I should be exploring each and every crevice of my new home._

_I should be laughing and playing until the day's end._

_Why…why am I back here?_

"No! No, no, no!" I shouted, holding my head in my hands with ultimate grief. "This wasn't supposed to happen…no!" This was affecting me more than I could ever bear; I didn't want to be separated from all of them. How could this happen?

A weight of dread found its way onto my shoulders, and soon I stopped my unconscious trembling. A horrifying fact had dawned upon me, and I could bear it no longer as I screamed.

My legs couldn't move.

* * *

><p>"Miss Uehara, don't worry, you're in safe hands. Please get some rest until later," the young nurse comforted me, soothing me with words I could barely consider. All I was able to understand was the state I awoke from: a coma. For a whole month, I was sleeping away the days in a state I never thought I'd be in. What was worse was that Wonderland was nowhere near me; I couldn't reach it.<p>

After the kind nurse left, I sank deeper into the white bed, my sense of touch muted against the once soft mattress. Oh, how I'd give anything to sleep within the confinements of the tent Ace and I could share, how I wished to sleep in the same room I resided in within the Hatter's Mansion; to see my friends, to speak to May again, to have that freedom that was robbed from me long ago. It was already night, and yet, it didn't feel like it at all. Perhaps I'd become too accustomed to Wonderland's time…

This was just too much.

Though my senses were quite distant at the moment, I couldn't help but feel the prickly tears course down my puffed cheeks. I just laid there motionless, a sense of complete loss overwhelming my heart to the point where I could barely _feel _my heartbeat; the beat that Ace had commented so nicely on.

I missed them all; I missed them all _too _much.

I didn't belong in their world, and yet, it felt like my true home.

I bit my lip, and grasped at my chest, vaguely feeling the strange material of the hospital dress I wore. It was so painful, so painful, this vulgar feeling… Abruptly, I slid my hand over the right side of my chest, my eyes widening as more tears fell. I peered down, and saw a red blotch stained on my skin, the shape as delicate as a flower. I lowered my dress, and found the bullet hole above my breast; a shimmering, dark hole that haunted me.

"Why has this happened…?" I whispered to myself, closing my eyes in an attempt to shut the tears off; it didn't work, and I started to shake. "I want to go back…I want to go back…"

_Why can't I go back?_

For the rest of that quiet night, I silently cried, the wish of returning to my beloved Wonderland dimming.

* * *

><p>"Regina darling, we've arrived!" a sickly sweet voice I'd come to forget drawled out to me, and once the door was opened, all the upsetting memories flooded back in. The entrance revealed my mother, the woman who had twisted thoughts of abandoning me, and following her clicking footfalls was my father, the man who found me only useful for biological reasons. But I didn't care for their presence, no; I was stuck motionless in my own thoughts and remorseful memories, time becoming an immutable factor.<p>

_Oh, how I missed them…those times we spend…_

"Regina, baby, we missed you! It was such a shock that you went into a coma," mother stated, her face a mockery of a true worrisome expression. It would've made me sick any other day, but today just wasn't the time. I was too busy thinking about Wonderland to notice them by my side, or even speaking to me at all.

_Blood…Elliot…Ace…_

_Dee…Dum…Boris…_

_Vivaldi…Peter…Nightmare…_

_Julius…_

_**Alice…**_

_I want to go back._

_I __**have **__to go back._

_I need to go back, but how?_

"Sweetheart, are you listening to what we have to say?" my father asked, a stern tone set forth when I wasn't paying them any attention.

"I'm sorry, I don't feel very well. Could you please leave?"

They looked taken aback by my comment, while I looked apathetic to their moronic actions. Before, I was always putting up a sickening act to pull myself through, but now…I didn't need to care. "But honey, we came to visit you! And besides, your father wanted to discuss the preparation for your meeting with the son of the Hatuno Company." My mother smiled widely as my father nodded approvingly, and I couldn't help _but _notice the evil glint in their eyes.

"Please leave," I repeated, not even sparing them a glance. "Your presence here isn't necessary; you have better things to do, don't you?"

"Why you—" my father raised his voice, and I could feel his rage start to vehemently rise. But did I care? Not at all.

"Dear, let's leave her be, I'm sure she's just…_recovering _from her previous state," my mother snarled out slightly, and that was enough to stop my father in his angry tracks. They soon left, their faces scrunched up in disgust, as I saw when they approached the door. Disgusted by whom, I wonder…themselves, or perhaps me? Yes, I believe it's the latter. Definitely the latter.

I averted my gaze from my pure white bed sheets to my new wheelchair settled on the other side of the room. A thought popped up from within my scrambled mind, and I narrowed my eyes. Could I possibly escape this place once again—this time on my own—to return to that Wonderland I loved so dearly? I measured out my chances, and smiled from within what little sanity I had.

I was becoming slightly cynical, perhaps even mad; but would someone mad be driven by such a goal? I wanted freedom again, but most importantly…

…I wanted Wonderland again.

* * *

><p>Over the past few days, I couldn't stop dreaming about the Clock Tower, about how I was shot and possibly killed. At one point, I even blamed Julius for driving me into this corner; but I couldn't bring myself to manifest it into anything bigger, and eventually, it faded away. Julius must've had his own reasons, and I had to bring myself to respect that.<p>

However, the more and more I delved into these vivid hallucinations of the mind, the more I could literally sense myself nearing it again. My beloved Wonderland. I could taste the foods, smell the sweet scents of the different sceneries, hear the chatter of people all around me; and yet, it was so close, but so distant and out of reach. I even started doubting my plan of escaping the hospital would play out, but like Pandora's box, my heart still contained hope, even after all the grief and sorrows were spilled out.

And then I found the perfect chance.

On a somewhat chilly night, when the hospital laid silent against the nearest bustling city, I peeked open an eye. Tonight was when I put things into action. The occupants of this dull place were all lulled to sleep, and by far, I was the only one awake; the only one who had the perfect opportunity.

But the problem was, my legs weren't available.

And for this reason, I found myself flung out the 4th story window of an enormous hospital.

What exactly was I thinking? Was I going insane?

I don't know.

Everything was so blurred, I couldn't see much.

_You know what, let me die. Let me, let me, **let me**_.__

_ This is all getting to my head. _

_ There was no Wonderland._

_ There was a Wonderland._

_It was my home. It was where I belonged for a change._

_It was the place...Ethan sacrificed his life for._

Tears flew upwards as I was inching toward the ground, the moon hanging high above. The world was spinning faster and faster; when would this end?

_"You are a strange human, to think that way."_

_**Nightmare…I loved meeting you in the Dream World.**_

_"Onee-san, these are our treasures!"_

_**Dee, Dum…I wanted to spend as much time as possible with you and your treasures.**_

_"So we have a new foreigner, eh? You're pretty."_

_**Boris…I loved those fireworks. Bring me again, won't you?**_

I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop trembling. I couldn't just rip out my beating heart full of sickening sadness. I couldn't bear to be apart from any of them for even a second. I wasn't supposed to take this so badly, but I couldn't bear it anymore! I hated this confinement! I hated my legs! I hated the fact that I was breathing in this world while I could be spending time in the other! I hated my sanity and insanity! I hated my past, present, and future!

_"Regina!"_

_ "Regina…"_

_ "Regina."_

_ "Regina."_

_ "Regina, please stay awake!"_

_ "Don't leave us…" _

_**Everyone…I miss you. Please come back…take me back…**_

"Just let me go back!"

An ear-splitting crack resounded throughout the area, a fatal sound that came from only one source: me. My eyes were glazing over as I stared at the bright full moon this devastating night. And yet, the world seemed so silent, so peaceful and serene while my brain was shriveled up to no end.

I liked this silence; perhaps it could take me back.

But in reality, I knew it couldn't; nothing could.

I could never go back, back to the Wonderland that I adored, back to the people I fell for.

I could never find out what happened to Alice.

I could never see the fireworks again.

I could never, ever meet the people I hadn't been acquainted with in Wonderland.

I could never run through the forest or see my friends again.

I could never see another changing day, another passing second in Wonderland.

I could _**never **_go back.

...

I hated this silence; it was something I could never have.

* * *

><p>End AN: Wow...I wrote this? :O Eh...okay, anyway, I hope you guys liked it! Thank you so much to those who reviewed, I'm hoping I can get some more! xD Of course, I'll be happy to take any plot twists, ideas, etc., so feel free to say anything. If you've noticed, I brought some things/quotes from earlier chapters, so maybe some of those ideas would be nice too. Thanks for reading, and until next time, bye~

Happy reading~


	12. Special Chapter: Come Back, Won't You?

**NOTE: It's very important to read Author's Note(s), so...READ THEM! **

A/N: Ello again, everyone, and welcome back to my story! :) It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm so very sorry for not uploading, school...ah, no need to explain much further. I've just gotten so many tests hurled at me! x_x And my inspiration levels are dangerously low...I have a feeling this story's going to plummet if I don't shape up soon or get any good ideas. Anyway, I was also thinking about changing the summary, but I'll deal with that later. This time, I'm trying a _Special Chapter_! I'll be testing them out a few times, but this is the first. I know, it's pretty short, but who knows, you might like it. It's in Ace's POV, so note that very well. I'll maybe change it, if deemed so, but otherwise, I hope you guys give Ace some love! Here we go (this chapter kinda broke my heart a bit, I don't know why... D:)!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s). (Though only Ace's here this time...)**

_**~Enjoy!~**_

_**Another note: SORRY FOR ANY OOC! He's just...emotionally disrupted, is all. o_o**_

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><p><strong>The Person I Was<strong>

**_Special Chapter_: Come Back, Won't You?**

_**~Ace~**_

...

I don't understand.

The other morning, she was perfectly fine; I'd stroked her cheek as she slept peacefully, and brushed the hair from her lidded eyes. She looked like an angel, and all I wanted to do was stop time. What was that feeling? It was so…nice. Then she awoke from a nightmare, and I was able to hold her closely and tell her it was alright. I liked the warmth; it was something I wanted to keep forever, if that existed.

The afternoon that followed, she'd been slightly excited about going to the Clock Tower; we flowed through the forest, laughing and continuing on. When we reached the tower, she became serious, but I knew she wasn't mad or anything; it was just the look in her eyes that told me she only had some important business to attend to.

I don't understand.

You know what I don't understand?

All of this.

I don't understand who brought outsiders here in the first place; they just left us, anyway.

I don't understand where she's gone; does she miss us Role Holders, _me_, at all?

I don't understand when I became so pained by her missing existence.

I don't understand how she's sleeping in a bed, paling with each passing second.

I don't understand why she won't wake up, no matter how much I beg.

I don't understand what could've made Julius do such a thing; I loathe him right now.

I don't understand this at all.

I'm sitting on a rather cold chair in the warm room Regina resides in. It's positioned by her bedside, so I can watch as her chest rises and falls incredibly slow, almost barely noticeable. I've listened to her heartbeat a few times; it's become such a faint, beautiful sound. A sound that I want stronger, a sound that only she could produce.

I reach out gloved hands to grip her hand and stroke her cheek softly, all the while squeezing that very same hand I took in my hold. She hasn't moved from her sleeping position for about twenty-three time periods; that's a long time.

Almost long enough to make me want to have that feeling that emerged inside me that morning she awoke from her nightmare.

I want her back.

I _know_ I do.

...

"Regina, it's me, Ace," I say quietly, stopping my recessive touch to watch her intently. "Time to wake up, don't you think?"

A heavy silence buzzed in my ear as I closed my eyes, waiting for a response. Of course, I never got one. But would it kill for just one? _Just _one?

"…I miss you," I whisper, and squeeze her small hand just hard enough to begin a wracking tremble in my body. "I miss you. Won't you come back?"

Another pause.

Another silence.

Another moment with no response, and I feel something stinging in my eyes.

Here it comes.

I breathe in deeply, my voice shaking. I'm really trying to keep it together, really; but I can't stop this torturing emotion of pain from scraping my insides. It hurts.

_It really hurts._

"Regina, are you there? Can you hear me?"

Nothing.

"Please say something, anything at all."

Again, a heavy silence.

"Sleeping too much is bad for your health. Wake up and let's go get lost in the forest again, okay?"

I can feel the tears course down my cheeks slowly, my eyes dulling with each second that stabs me.

"Regina…"

Another regretful, sickening, delicate pause.

Another painstakingly terrifying silence.

Another fearful moment that she won't answer; and that she never will.

I've gone into a disrupted state of mind now, and that's just the beginning. I lost Alice once, but somewhere, when _Regina _had reassured me she'd be back, I believed so.

And now, here I am, the man who's lost yet another beautiful soul.

I've lost the light that surprisingly entered my deathly, cautious life, and became the one person who pulled me out of my lost thoughts.

_Regina._

I've lost her.

"Regina, please come back. Please wake up," I sob, muffling my cries into her cool hand. It's becoming colder and colder. I don't want it to become colder and colder. I'm losing her...

No...I've already lost her, haven't I?

I've lost something, a _someone _that I could never replace.

Will I ever get her back?

…

"Please, just come back."

* * *

><p>End AN: ...Ah, this is painful. I should be doing a normal chapter, but...this just popped up in my head. Wow, and look at the reviews! Mama mia, I'm so happy! ;-; I love you guys, it touches me so much, but still, my levels of inspiration are _dangerously _low; I repeat, _**dangerously **_low. xD Thanks for all the reviews, and I've started my mystery review goal again. Hope I'll achieve it~ Anyway, thanks again for reviewing, if you have, and reading, you people are awesome! Until next time (DEFINITE CHAPTER!), ta-ta~

Happy reading!


	13. Chapter 11: Apathetic, Gray Sunshine

A/N: Hi everyone, and welcome back to my story. I have something important to say. It'll blow you away...

I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!

...Actually, that's not that mind blowing. xD Anyway, forgive me! SCHOOL KILLS TIME (though I do enjoy it, sometimes), and I've just been so contemplative and busy. But atleast I've taken time to FINALLY upload! Though this chapter's MUCH shorter than the others. I'm so sorry. It's just another one of those to get the CLIMAX and good part going. :D I hope you'll like it. I actually surpassed my review expectation, though I started getting none after a while (you guys are probably just waiting for another chapter). Here you are, then!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).**

_**Enjoy!~**_

_**Note: Uh...forgive me if you get lost a bit. I added Johnny Cash's song, "You Are My Sunshine", (I DON'T OWN IT!), and...bleh. Anyway, enjoy!**_

* * *

><p><strong>The Person I Was <strong>

**Chapter Eleven: Apathetic, Gray Sunshine**

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray…"_

Music. There was this shifting sound; lyrical words that filled the atmosphere with beautiful, light-heartedness. Someone was singing. What a magical voice…

"_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away…"_

Where? Where was it coming from?

Eyes open, with no hesitance to find the source of noise.

Where? Where was the music? It suddenly stopped. The whole world stopped.

And then, something is realized. Something unbelievable.

_I'm alive?_

_She_ is alive.

_Regina Uehara _is alive.

_I _am alive.

"Alive…" Words slipped out of my mouth, a connection of wispy wind that blows out. Why? Why am I alive? Dead. I'm supposed to be dead. I flung myself out the window, and the crack that followed was superficially heard, no question about how blunt. But I was breathing, I heard music…

That's right. There was music…

Where was it? Such a soothing, beautiful collection of sound...

And then, as if on cue, it started again; an English song well understood.

"_The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping…I dreamed I held you in my arms."_

"_But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken…so I hung my head, and I cried."_

Something inside me flared, and quietly died down the instant ignited. I recalled the reason why I threw myself out the window. "Wonderland," I whispered, and blinked slowly. I wanted to return. But now, that feeling was shallow; it was like a flame distanced upon a melting candle. My surroundings were becoming clearer, and I made no move to budge. I was in a white room, with a beeping machine, and the sounds of breaths being sucked in rhythm. A bed was near the absurdly noisy machine, and a window allowed cool air into the pure room; my room.

"Why…" My voice died, and I found myself unable to finish my train of thought. The feel of the ground underneath me was smooth, and I noticed I was sitting up on the marble. I glanced up at the bed, and froze with recognition.

The person in bed…was me.

She—_I _was the one breathing rhythmically, the beeps of the machine filling in the rests. It was strange, really, to see one's self lying so still, unlike a reflection in a mirror; but strangely, I welcomed the sight, as if somewhere, I knew it would lead to this. That was the true odd factor. The music from earlier began to die down, and I heard the verses ringing.

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray."_

"_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away…"_

I felt tears well up in my eyes dully. I looked so peaceful, yet not, at the same time. It was like I was fighting a battle inside that would never end. And I was, in my sleeping form, and presumably ghostly form. I abruptly stood up, reaching the bedside and extending a hand to my counterpart. I was able to walk; was that supposed to be surprising as well? All my feelings were so distant...

The door of my room suddenly flung open, revealing a tall man in a white coat and surgeon mask. I retracted my hand, watching him stand straight. His black hair was greased over, and eye bags were evident as he made his way over to my bed, movement somewhat languid. Was he the doctor looking after me? But what happened…?

A flurry of footfalls reached my hearing range, and another person came into the room. A nurse with similar features to the doctor came to his side with a silver cart filled with medical supplies.

"Doctor Smith, I've brought supplies," the nurse stated to the medical professional, and he simply nodded after a stiff pause.

"Good work, Dahlia."

"Doctor, is she making any progress in awakening?" 'Dahlia' inquired steadily, eyes focusing on my sleeping form. I furrowed my eyebrows in scrutiny, and my expression fell. What was going on? I was dead, yet alive. My mind was scrambled; was I unable to cross the line? They couldn't see me at all.

"No, she hasn't. And I can't seem to activate anything either," 'Doctor Smith' answered, his eyes flashing with something like remorse. "That fall from the fourth story really did a major impact on her, but she miraculously survived such a devastating fall." He pulled the surgeon mask off, and rubbed his temples. "Dahlia, I can truthfully say…I don't know what to do. She—" He cut himself off, and closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Doctor…" Dahlia looked genuinely worried and pained, and came closer to me. I watched invisibly as she reached out a hand to take mine. I couldn't feel it, however, and this left me, in my state of mind, cold. But the next topic she brought up stunned me into a deeper silence. "Doctor, her condition resembles that of Alice Liddell, does it not?"

"It questionably does, yes."

I froze, the words all sinking in.

_Alice?_

What…

Moments further, my feet were pounding across the floor, my blue eyes darting in frenzy. I had dashed out the door, my concentration focused on one thought. Alice…

_Where is she? What room?_

I was going to find her. I _had _to find her. The goal was so imbued into my mind, I ignored the throbbing pain in my chest and legs.

Promptly, I skidded to a halt, realizing my predicament and taking in the area. I had reached a room full of dull chairs, patients and others filling them. Receptionist desks, doctors, and nurses... This was waiting room. But where was she? Where was Alice?

This wasn't where I needed to be. I left the room hurriedly, not bothering to glance back. If Alice was in the same condition as me…she must've been in her room; somewhere, she was here. She was here.

I had to find her.

And I had to find her fast.

* * *

><p>It must've been hours before I roughly collapsed, not from fatigue, but from the sheer pressure of the situation. Surprisingly, I wasn't tired at all, but in place of that was deep chagrin that clawed at my body. Inside and out, I was distraught. I couldn't find her. I <em>hadn't <em>even found her, not a slight clue, even after rushing into room after room in this humongous hospital.

What was I going to do?

Already, tears were coursing down my freezing cheeks, and my vision bleared as I pulled myself to rest against a wall. I didn't know where I was. I was lost.

_I don't know where she is._

_ What do I do?_

_**What do I do?**_

"What do I do…?" I repeated out loud, cradling my head in my hands. "I can't find her…" I was bound to crack even more.

_And I can't find myself._

_ What has happened to me?_

I no longer felt human. Was I? I was on the borderline of death, and yet, here I was, feeling life seep through my frame. I shouldn't have gone to Wonderland. "Look what's happened to me!" I shout, my voice strangled from my quiet sobs. There was no one in the darkening hall; and if there was, they wouldn't be able to see me…see my utter despair. "Look at me…what's happened to me?" The silence that answers me is a bitter, heavy blanket, pinning me down within its confinements.

The images of Wonderland…my friends fill my mind's eye. Were they real? Were they fake? The pain scrunched up inside my heart, and I swallowed hard. They were a dream. But dreams weren't so _real_. And now I was stuck in a state where I was either dead or alive. Which was it? I missed them so much, and all the searing pain of losing them came back.

And then there was Alice. The friend I'd lost years ago. The person I spent numerous days with in childhood. The one who achieved more with her age than I did. She was older, she was more mature, she…

She was…

Unfound.

And I was too.

I uncurled from my closed up position, unruly strands of hair clinging to my face, as if it was their last resort. I used to be caged, like a bird unable to fly. With Wonderland, I found a new resolve, and became that free soul in childhood. But where was she? Where was Alice, and where was the person I became?

I closed my eyes, ready to give in to this pain; it was riddling my demise. I was near it, but suddenly, a sound fueled my ears. Soft, melodic notes that grew louder with each second. When decipherable, my eyes snapped open immediately. It was the musical song that broke my silence.

"_In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me; when I awake, my poor heart pains."_

Before I knew it, I was up off the dusty floor, and my feet were mesmerized into motion. That song…where was it coming from? I was so entranced, and my footsteps died within the sound.

"_So when you come back and make me happy, I'll forgive you, dear, I'll take all the blame."_

Where was the voice coming from? It sounded so familiar, yet so different, it was vividly turbulent.

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray."_

The emotion…the voice singing was female. It was exquisite…but where was she? Where was this person?

"_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."_

_ Here!_

I halted in the doorway of an open room, and gazed inside, my heart pounding furiously inside. The first thing I laid my eyes on was a person sitting by a colorful bed, trembling sadly. Another person was asleep in bed, and I could distinctively hear the beeping of a monitor, like in my room. My eyes widened greatly, to the point where I was sure they'd pop out when I found out whom was the person occupying the bed.

_Alice._

I'd found her.

But she looked so different. So peaceful, but so…deathly. Why? When I stepped into the room to reach her, the trembling figure stopped, and turned to face me, giving me a clear view of their face. A woman with stunning turquoise eyes, like Alice's, a pale complexion, and short, silky brown hair stared at me, tears falling down her cheeks.

I found myself drowning in the situation, and realized who this person was. I hadn't seen her in so long, I almost forgot; but I was sure it was her.

_That person..._

Edith Liddell.

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><p>End AN: Wow...cliffhanger, ha... Sorry about that, this chapter wasn't actually what I expected, but it's still an update! I'm sleepy, forgive me for mistakes. Thanks to all the reviewers, and I'll be sure to update soon (MAYBE!). Bye everyone, hope you liked it. :)

Thanks for reviewing, and happy reading!~


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